Chasing Down The Muse: When not to act your age

“It takes a long time to become young.”

— Pablo Picasso

Another day between rainstorms.

I walked from home to the beach and then to the canyon before taking a different route back.

The day was breathtaking — beautiful almost beyond words. I just wanted to walk on and on, to bask in this day.

To the west and south the white peaks of billowing clouds beckoned; to the north and east they were matched by the snowy white mountain peaks. These are unusual days for us in the Southland. I breathed it all in. The sight was a visual tonic. I was enjoying this day of respite.

January seems to have been a month filled with the needs of aging parents in our own household.

My father-in-law, Ken, passed away after a sudden illness put him in the hospital at 92. At his memorial service, friends and former neighbors Sharon and Ron Friedman said over and over how Ken and his wife, Genevieve, had taught them through the years that age is only a number.

In the midst of the sadness at Ken’s passing, I found this to be inspiring proof of a life well-lived, of paying it forward.

Act your age. This message is pounded home to us early on. What does it mean? How does one act at any given age? What are the rules and who makes them?

Ageism is too often an insidious plot foisted upon us with dictates to behave in certain ways. I say no to this!

As one who has reached the age of Medicare and other age “rules,” I balk at acting my age. Retirement isn’t from life, but from jobs that too often took away time for play, for learning new things, for the youthful enjoyment of life. Age is just a number.

Henry Ford said that anyone who keeps learning can stay young. Learning, along with continued involvement in the things of the world through service of some sort — that’s one route. Travel, which also involves learning, is another. A broad spectrum of relationships with people of all ages can help. There are myriad ways to stay active and young. What do I choose? How will I “act my age”?

Yes, there is a lot of life behind, but if Picasso can be believed (and I choose to follow his lead here), youth still stretches ahead.

My curiosity abounds. I wish I had the keen vision of the Cooper’s hawk circling overhead. Then I might know with greater clarity how I want to do this “young” thing. Guess I will just have to rely upon my own authority on this one.

As my soon to be 3-year-old grandson, Hank, would say, “What the heck?”

I have known some pretty terrific “older” women in the years behind. Many of them have set examples I might choose to follow. A few come quickly to mind. There is the wisdom and grace of artist Beverly Cassell or the vim and vigor of nonagenarian Leah Johnson, who outlasted several husbands. There is the beautiful and insightful Marielle Fuller who led me down many dream paths to greater understanding. Gracious, talented and courageous, Anne England continues to set an example to emulate with her recent gift of the words, “Make a great day!”

Vibrant, vital, interesting — these are attributes I find in many of my own peers. So many of these women seem to settle into their lives and become even more beautiful and vigorous over the years. I strive to keep up, to hold up my end of the bargain.

I want to be able, also, to pay it forward. We all do life in our own diverse ways. Maintaining good health, regular exercise, time with friends, service to others, optimism, curiosity and laughter are just some of the ways I know to stay young. It has taken a while to get here and I want to stretch out the enjoyment as long as I can.

I will continue my embracing of optimism, curiosity, creativity and authority. Life has been up to now full and rich. It can only become more so. Youth has no age. Ron and Sharon said so. I believe.

Now if the aches and pains from that long walk would just go away.

CHERRIL DOTY stays young by practicing what she preaches and playing with life and its many mysteries as they show up. She can be reached at (714) 745-9973 or by e-mail at [email protected].