The dinner party

You can have six people over for your holiday dinner. Any six people, from any time period. Who would you invite and what would you serve?

My guests at this fantasy dinner:

Adam and Eve. Originally fashioned together, they count as one invitee. I would ask, “If you had it to do over again ... ?” Another question: Did they have any recollection of Eden’s location since, as Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young sang, “We’ve got to get ourselves back to the Garden.” Also, could they offer any authoritative judgment about the Scopes Monkey Trial? I would serve fruits and nuts to these vegetarians, but I would scrupulously avoid apples. Apple pie would be in bad taste.

Moses. I would ask, “Was Charlton Heston’s parting of the Sea in ‘The Ten Commandments’ faithful to the event?” Moses probably had his fill of manna, so I would not prepare a bread-like substance that appeared miraculously in the Sinai wilderness every morning except on the Sabbath.

Jesus. I would ask, “What do you think about a religion being named for you, and do you think we should put Christ back in Christmas?” Then, “What do you think of that monstrous monument to kitsch on Bear Street and the San Diego Freeway in Costa Mesa, undesignedly erected to disgust thy neighbor?” Did he think prosperity gospels like PTL (Pass The Loot) and other millionaire ministries were true to his social ethic? Did Matthew quote him correctly: “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Above all, I would like to know if even Jesus could ever forgive Mel Gibson.

What to serve? Loaves and fishes come to mind, but I might opt for wine and matzoh. I would have Jesus distribute it to the other diners.

President Abraham Lincoln. I would ask, “Do you realize that in our image-driven, media-saturated, television-obsessed political culture you could never be elected president?”

He would enjoy his first taste of kosher food, covered, of course, in Log Cabin syrup.

Israeli Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion. I would ask: “You used to exercise by standing on your head for lengthy periods, saying this enabled you to see Arab foreign policy in its proper perspective. Will the Arabs ever put the name ‘Israel’ on their maps of the Middle East? Will they ever turn from the glorification of death? Will they ever stop teaching their children to hate?” Since B-G was famous for helping his wife wash the dishes, I would assign him the task of cleaning up.

Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin. I would ask: “Isn’t it tortuous to be spinning in your grave over your successor’s shaking the bloodstained hand of the arch-murderer Arafat?” And what about that Nobel Peace Prize for the man who perfected modern terrorism? Would he comment on the flags at the United Nations being lowered in tribute when Arafat departed this earth on a fast track for Hell. I would serve simple fare, but I suspect his appetite would be suppressed over those stomach-churning images.

Finally, as my guests prepared to depart and resume their place in history, we would all applaud my wife, the world’s greatest cook!

RABBI MARK S. MILLER

Temple Bat Yahm

Newport Beach

Dinner with anyone I want, besides my wife and Jesus. OK.

I would love to meet King David, who in the midst of his tremendous failure found his way back to God and a favored place being called a “man after God’s own heart.” I find myself often at the edge of failure asking how I got there. David’s story has always been inspirational.

Who has ever been to Washington, D.C., and not been in awe at the Lincoln Memorial? The life of the man, however, is more powerful than his memorial. Abraham Lincoln has to be one of the more inspirational figures in my life. The depth of compassion with which he led our nation in a terrible time is truly amazing.

Back in the 1800s, an illiterate shoe salesman began shaking the spiritual trees of America and Great Britain. D.L. Moody broke all conventions; didn’t care about denominations; didn’t want to be called reverend; started schools in bars; encouraged and promoted women in ministry; and had a passion for telling people about the hope that Jesus offers. He started colleges, schools for girls and boys, publishing houses and much more.

He said, “The world has yet to see what God can do through a man or woman fully committed to him. By God’s grace I will be that man!”

Wow! To sit at a table with him would very interesting.

He and President Lincoln had already met, so they wouldn’t need to be introduced.

At the same time, I would love to invite C.S. Lewis. He had such a powerful mind, taught at Oxford, wrote definitive apologetics on the Christian faith and yet also wrote children’s stories that we still enjoy today. All this from a man who lived his early life as an atheist. I would love to sit next to a pub fire with him.

There is a woman in the New Testament named Junia. The Apostle Paul called her “outstanding among the apostles” in his letter to the church at Rome. I would love to meet a woman who succeeded in living so powerful a life that she got that kind of notice. I think she would bring lively conversation to the table.

Finally, Bono of U2 has been doing some powerful work for Africa and AIDS. I would love to sit and listen to his life journey.

Now the hard part ... what to serve? Spaghetti with meatballs on the side. You cant eat spaghetti and be graceful. None of the people listed are pretentious, so I don’t think that would be a problem, but the noodles might be a great icebreaker.

SENIOR ASSOCIATE PASTOR RIC OLSEN

Harbor Trinity

Costa Mesa

If only six, I would choose my wife and son; my mom and dad; my Lord, Jesus; and his mother, Mary. We would pray in the holy name of Jesus’ daddy, but since his Abba is eternal spirit and not a “person” I’m not counting God as one of the six. These are the very most important people in my life.

I would serve chili rellenos stuffed with melted parmesan cheese in both spicy green sauce and sweet red pomegranate sauce -- to learn who’s hot and who’s not in these (hopefully happy) holiday times.

(THE VERY REV’D CANON) PETER D. HAYNES