Embracing the simple life

Shawbong Fok

At 50, Mike Stanley has led two adult lives.

In one, he was a real estate appraiser, making lots of money,

living in Newport Beach and sending his daughter to expensive private

schools. He would eat out often, splurging on any meal he chose.

“I would not think about how much I had to spend,” Stanley said.

But there was a trade-off: He often felt stressed out. He had

little time to enjoy life. And he always felt under pressure to

please his bosses and clients. That life was more than a decade ago.

Today, Stanley is a waiter living in subsidized housing in Costa

Mesa, paying $600 a month in rent in a county where the average is

$1,275. He has no car, he rarely eats out, and he almost never goes

to malls, yet he feels completely relaxed and content.

His modest, freestyle life allows him to surf and enjoy views of

trees and hills while riding his bike to work He’s under no pressure

to please anyone but himself.

“Now I get to think about events of the day,” Stanley said.

“Before, I could not think. I realized the fallacy of being rich.”

This more relaxing life also allows him time to do what he really

loves: helping people. He volunteers for the Costa Mesa Literacy

Council, which has a core group of volunteers who tutor those who

want to learn English as a second language. Every Tuesday from 7 to

8:30 p.m., volunteers meet in a modest building next to the Mesa

Verde United Methodist Church in Costa Mesa. There, about half a

dozen adults, all of whom are immigrants, learn English.

One of the adults, Maria Carmela, 67, is originally from Peru.

Stanley guides her through sentences patiently, carefully noticing

any mistakes in her speech and grammar.

“Carmela was not confident when she first started getting

tutoring,” said Victoria Noble, the director of the Costa Mesa

Literacy Council. “She was very limited in her English. She was very

timid and shy.”

In the past several months, though, since working with Stanley,

Carmela has come out of her shell, Noble said. Stanley helps students

like Carmela because he loves being with people.

“The experience is indescribable,” he said. “I can’t put words to

it. It is an immediate gratification.”

Stanley lives a simple life: He has no watch, no TV. He does

things that please him regardless of what others might think.

Sometimes, he said, people look down on him for being a 50-year-old

waiter at Hof’s Hut in Irvine, but he doesn’t care.

Stanley calls the joy that he gets from tutoring his wealth.