Joined for a common cause

Deepa Bharath

Pamela Wiener and Vickie Bridgman have something in common.

They both lost what was most precious to them. Bridgman’s

18-year-old son Donny died in a 1997 crash on Irvine Avenue that also

seriously injured two other teens. Pamela Wiener’s 3-year-old son

Brandon was killed after a Steven Allen Abrams plowed into a Costa

Mesa preschool in a psychotic rage also killing 4-year-old Sierra

Soto.

Wiener and Bridgman will join hands to put together a fund-raiser

on Friday to help continue a program for children who are grieving

the loss of a loved one.

Wiener said she started the Brandon Cody Wiener Scholarship Fund

last year to keep his memory alive.

“I wanted something in his name,” she said. “And Vickie gave me

the support of her organization that she founded in memory of her

son. She understands my need to want to do something that will

benefit other children.”

Last year, the scholarship fund paid for three children to camp

out in a ranch in rural San Diego county and spend a week there in

those natural surroundings.

“They learned horseback riding, caring for animals and did

crafts,” she said. “Just to see their faces and how much they enjoyed

it, was enough to make me want to do it all over again.”

The event, to take place at the Costa Mesa Senior Center, will

feature dinner and a silent auction.

The proceeds from the event will go toward the scholarship fund.

“The more money we raise, the more children we can help,” she

said.

Wiener, who has a son and a daughter, said she has first-hand

understanding of what children go through when they grieve.

“It’s very hard on them,” she said. “They need to be comforted.

They need positive experiences.”

Wiener is also trying to start up a Costa Mesa chapter of the

Center for Grief and Loss for Children. It would cost about $20,000

to get it started and Wiener plans to have it up and running by next

year, she said.

Bridgman said she and Wiener met through a bereavement group

themselves.

“There are all types of losses,” she said. “You lose your purse,

that’s a loss too. But there is no loss as significant as the loss of

a child.”

That’s a why a support system is vital for survivors, Bridgman

said.

“You draw from one another’s experiences,” she said. “It gives you

hope that eventually you’ll be able to live with the loss.”