Some words and phrases don’t really say anything

If you are so passionate about your company’s new product that you

want to say “it underscores our commitment”; if you wholeheartedly

believe a new service is a “win-win”; if you’re sure that a company

merger will “create synergies” -- please, for the love of Pete, don’t

say so.

During the busiest times at Business Wire, I read about 20 press

releases a day. That meant that, during any given week, I came across

these excruciatingly hackneyed expressions about 1.4 million times.

(Blame the accounting error on wordsmith’s math disability; just

believe me when I tell you that’s what it felt like.)

Writing marketing materials is a different process than creative

writing or even journalism -- a different mind-set. Creativity tends

to go down the commode, and that’s understandable. Nobody expects a

press release about a new I/P router to read like Hemingway. But the

writer often can’t know that the words he is choosing are also being

chosen by a jillion other people in what, to the reader, feels like a

barrage of meaningless expressions.

As I recall, the expressions above were the big three that annoyed

me. As such, they are the ones I recommend you avoid.

Instead, try to get out of business writer’s rut by taking a step

back and asking yourself what you mean to say.

Let’s say you’re John Frederiksen, general manager of Windows at

Microsoft, and you’re really tempted to give this quote for a 2001

press release: “This enhancement to Windows Messenger, which

incorporates customer feedback and underscores our commitment to

continue to innovate and to ensure that Windows XP enables the best,

easiest, most exciting computing experience for consumers. It also

underscores our commitment to work with the industry to make Windows

XP a great platform for third-party solutions.” (By the way, I found

this by typing “underscores our commitment” into Yahoo!)

Now let’s say that you actually want people to understand what

you’re saying. Take a step back. Think short sentences. Think

substance.

“This enhancement to Windows Messenger was designed with the

customer in mind -- real customer feedback guided its creation. Our

ongoing innovation allows Windows XP users to enjoy the best,

easiest, most exciting computing experience available.”

I was actually looking for some alternative to “underscores our

commitment” when I realized that nixing that thought gets the main

point across even better. Other alternatives to this phrase might be

“demonstrates our commitment,” “delivers on our promise,” “exhibits

our dedication,” “proves our belief in,” and so on.

Of course, Frederiksen’s quote is even more powerful at

underscoring one’s commitment to avoiding run-on sentences. But

that’s the subject of another column. The quote also contains an

error. Take out the word “which” and the comma before it and you get

a complete sentence.

It’s easy to take swipes at the people who, day in and day out,

must find words to sell products. I know their job isn’t easy. So,

I’ll end with a compliment to these unsung literary laborers. In all

the years I’ve been reading press releases, I have been consistently

amazed at how often the writers know the difference between

“compliment” and “complement.”

The first one, of course, is like saying, “What a beautiful home

you have.” The second means that two or more things go well together,

as seen in this excerpt from a recent press release about a new

computer chip: “The MC44C401 complements Motorola’s industry-leading

family of RF modulator (MC44C37x family) integrated circuits.”

Along those lines, “complimentary” means free and “complementary”

means that things go well together.

My compliments to all of you who knew this already.

* Have a question about business writing or grammar? Write June

Casagrande at [email protected].