‘Pirates’ a thrilling romp

Most people thought “Pirates of the Caribbean” one of the most highly

anticipated movies of the summer. As a viewer, I must agree. Neither

the gore nor the lengthy battle scenes particularly devoured my

attention, but because of the plot, I was lured into the action of

the film. Key scenes from the Disneyland attraction version of this

movie were placed in practical order to distract from the familiarity

of the action.

The entirety of the film is related to or spent investigating the

curse of the Black Pearl, an ancient pirate ship headed by its former

first mate (Geoffrey Rush) whose crew has been cursed to live life as

skeletons by the light of the moon. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) had

been the captain, until there was a mutiny. There is a missing

medallion that belongs to William Turner (Orlando Bloom), a gift

which he received from his father. The pirates do everything in their

power to get it back. As the story unfolds, so does the mystery

behind the purpose and ambition of each man.

From ships to swords and pirates to fatal curses, the characters

are what made the film. Regardless of their status in society or

their reputation among the others, at the very least, each actor

delivered a modest performance.

Sparrow provided all the wise cracks and comedic lines and just

made everyone he encountered look like an amateur at whatever he was

doing. Turner had all the wisdom and honesty that was necessary for a

person with such character to succeed in his ambitions. Together,

their alliance proved to be one of the quality duos that allows such

a movie to establish itself as something worth seeing. With this in

mind, it is no wonder why there is so much conflict in the film.

At first, the whole concept of the movie kind of eluded me. I

didn’t understand some of the motives that drove each character to

pursue their specific dream. The plot then reveals itself. Gradually,

as if by sequence, new sources of information come into perspective

and shape the final product, which we see on the screen.

Not only was the result a thrilling feature to endure, but it was

just such a great movie. The outlook it presents to you can’t be

found in any other (pirate) movie.

* SARA SALAM will be attending Corona del Mar High School in the

fall as a sophomore.

An unextraordinary ‘League’ on every level

The very expensive and totally half-baked “League of Extraordinary

Gentlemen” is full of extraordinary foolishness. It appears the

writers took the screenplays of a dozen different adventure films and

threw them into a blender to create a crazy quilt plot without

purpose, meaning or sense.

I trust that Sean Connery is suitably embarrassed for the fat

$17-million paycheck he collected for lending his name and reputation

to this fiasco. But even his potent screen presence cannot bring

legitimacy to the preposterous story line, which centers on a sort of

19th-century version of the “X-Men.”

We start with a most bizarre collection of super heroes trying to

save the planet from a major world war at the turn of the century.

(Don’t we all know they failed?) The extraordinary heroes include a

Hulk-like creature, a deathless vampire; the Invisible Man and the

immortal Dorian Gray. They are joined by more ordinary government

agents from Britain and America, who are further assisted by a horde

of reformed Hindu swashbuckling pirates. The whole gang is able to

travel to their choreographed adventures on Capt. Nemo’s gargantuan

submarine, which can somehow navigate the tiny canals of Venice,

Italy.

Our heroes are locked in a stupendous battle with super villains

who come from wildly disparate sources. Some are from English

literature. Some would be much more at home in a James Bond, Robocop

or Bruce Lee movie. The poor city of Venice is ground zero of the

mind numbing war between the two motley crews who commit mass

destruction on the human population they claim to be trying to save.

The film features vehicles, machine guns and DNA technology that

haven’t been invented yet, as a mad scientist tries to clone the

powers of the superheroes for his evil designs.

A few first-rate special effects, all too common in these films,

provide the only excuse for the existence of stupid plot developments

with less credibility than Saddam Hussein’s last election results.

Science and history are casualties of war in this misguided attempt

to join the 2003 summer movie blockbuster parade. It’s mindless, lame

and forgettable on every level. You want real action adventure

escapism? Go see “Terminator 3.”

* JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator

for the Orange County public defender’s office.