Child abuse invades cyberspace

Within the last year, there have been several high profile child

abuse situations tied to the child’s involvement in “chat rooms” on

the Internet. Like so many other things in our fast-paced world,

child abuse has gone cyberspace.

As is the case with a lot of child abuse incidents, many online

generated abuse occurrences never get reported. However, the fact

that crimes are being committed online is not a reason to avoid using

this means of communication.

Telling children to stop using these services is like telling them

to stop attending school because students are sometimes victimized

there. A better strategy would be to instruct children about the

benefits and dangers of using the “Internet” and for them to learn

how to be “street smart” in order to better safeguard themselves in

any potentially dangerous situation.

Children can benefit from being online, but they can also be

targets of crime and exploitation in this as in any other

environment. Trusting, curious and anxious to explore this new world

and the relationships it brings, children need parental supervision

and common-sense advice on how to be sure that their experiences in

“cyberspace” are happy, healthy and productive.

There are some risks for children who use the Internet or online

services. Teenagers are particularly at risk because they often use

the computer unsupervised and are more likely than younger children

to participate in online discussions regarding companionship or

relationships. If you have a teen in your family or you are a

teenager, check out teen safety on the information highway at

www.missingkids.com.

A major risk of children being on line is that a child may be

exposed to inappropriate material that is sexual, hateful or violent

in nature or material that encourages activities that are dangerous

or illegal.

Another risk is that, while online, a child might provide

information or arrange an encounter that could risk his or her safety

or the safety of other family members. In some cases, pedophiles have

used e-mail, bulletin boards and chat areas to gain a child’s

confidence and then arrange a face-to-face meeting.

If you have cause for concern about your children’s online

activities, talk to them. Open communication with your child, as well

as getting online yourself, will help you obtain a better

understanding and alert you to potential problems that may occur with

online use.

If your child tells you about an upsetting person or thing

encountered while online, do not blame your child, but help him or

her avoid problems in the future. Remember, how you respond will

determine whether they confide in you the next time they encounter a

problem and how they learn to deal with problems on their own.

At the very least, keep track of any files your children download

to the computer. Consider sharing an e-mail account with your child

so you can oversee their mail and join your children when they are in

private chat areas to monitor their activities.

Consider keeping the computer in a family room rather than in the

child’s bedroom. Get to know their “online friends” just as you get

to know all of their other friends.

The following pledges for online safety are suggested by the

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children:

* I will not give out personal information such as my address,

telephone number, parents’ work address/telephone number, or the name

and location of my school without my parents’ permission.

* I will tell my parents right away if I come across any

information that makes me feel uncomfortable.

* I will never agree to get together with someone I “meet” online

without first checking with my parents. If my parents agree to the

meeting, I will be sure that it is in a public place and bring my

mother or father along.

* I will never send a person my picture or anything else without

first checking with my parents.

* I will not respond to any messages that make me feel

uncomfortable. It is not my fault if I get a message like that. If I

do, I will tell my parents right away so that they can contact the

online service.

* I will talk with my parents so that we can set up rules for

going online. We will decide upon the time of day that I can be

online, the length of time I can be online and appropriate areas for

me to visit. I will not access other areas or break these rules

without their permission.

For two very good brochures regarding Internet safety (“Teen

Safety on the Information Highway” or “Child Safety on the

Information Highway”), contact the National Center for Missing &

Exploited Children at (714) 508-0150.

If you have some questions or concerns about this issue here are

some good information sources:

* Childhelp USA-(800) 4-A-CHILD or www.childhelpusa.org

* National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (714)

508-0150

* Prevent Child Abuse Orange County (714) 258-2272 or

www.pcaoc.org

* Orange County Child Abuse Registry (714) 940-1000

* Or contact me at (714) 481-8312