‘Adaptation’ a dismal failure

After appearing in such cutting-edge, avant garde films as “The

Rock” and “Gone in 60 Seconds,” Nicolas Cage has decided to take a

stab at appearing in a real art house movie.

“Adaptation” is as smug as it is boring. The script is like bad

college poetry. It tries very hard to be profound and speak to the

human spirit, but it’s really just embarrassingly moronic. My friend

fell asleep about 30 minutes into this movie. Her only regret was

waking up before it was over.

Nicolas Cage plays a dual role. He’s Charlie Kaufman and his twin

brother, Donald Kaufman. Charlie has been hired to write a

screenplay, adapting a book written by Susan Orlean (Meryl Streep).

The movie we are watching is the movie Charlie is writing.

The real Charlie Kaufman is the screenwriter for “Adaptation,” who

also wrote “Being John Malkovich.” Notice how the screenwriter is a

character in his own movie? “Adaptation” pushes that concept ad

nauseam.

Cage’s Charlie is constantly winking at the audience and making

self-deprecating jokes about screenwriters. This would actually be

clever and funny if the real Kaufman script wasn’t so transparently

narcissistic. It’s like a conceited jerk making jokes about himself

because he’s thoroughly convinced that irony of being portrayed as

inferior is laughable.

In “Adaptation,” Charlie is a famous screenwriter who is renowned

as a humble, yet brilliant artist. Unfortunately, he has massive

problems with self-esteem. He can’t face people or speak to people,

especially attractive women.

His brother Donald is a dimwitted layabout who mooches off of

Charlie and makes Charlie’s life more difficult.

The book that Charlie is trying to adapt is called “The Orchid

Thief.” It’s a nonfiction story about orchid breeder John Laroche

(Chris Cooper). Laroche is a gritty, no-nonsense kind of guy who’s

intensely passionate about everything he does. So do you think Streep

will fall in love with the orchid grower? Unfortunately, tedious

predictability is the least of this movie’s problems.

Streep’s character rambles on and on in voice-over narratives

about Laroche and her desire to feel passion like he does. Cage’s

Charlie also blathers in narrative as he examines his feelings about

his own inadequacies.

What makes both Streep’s and Cage’s narratives truly annoying is

that it’s all pretentious nonsense. It’s like Kaufman thinks the

audience is so stupid that the sexual symbolism of an orchid has to

be explained over and over and over.

One of the most ridiculous moments is when Charlie confronts his

brother, Donald, to tell him that the girl he had a crush on in high

school was mocking him behind his back. Donald pauses and then says

that it doesn’t matter if the girl he loved was laughing at him. He

owned the love he felt for her and no one could take that away. I’m

not sure if this is supposed to mean that we should all fearlessly

embrace our feelings, or if Kaufman thinks John Hinckley’s crush on

Jodie Foster was a beautiful thing.

Just for laughs, the script throws in gratuitously explicit sexual

jokes. The jokes have no relation to the story, but the shock value

of certain words are supposed to make us crack up.

It all adds up to something that could have used several

re-writes. The movie’s general concept is pretty cool, but the

execution wallows in lameness. I have no clue how this got any Golden

Globe nominations. “Adaptation” makes “Showgirls” seem like a

watchable movie with a story that has special meaning. Don’t waste

your time or your money.

* JIM ERWIN, 40, is a technical writer and computer trainer.

‘25th Hour’ is unapologetic Spike

Many movies based in New York have completely sidestepped any

references to Sept. 11. Reportedly, the Twin Towers were digitally

excised from films completed before the tragedy. Swimming against the

tide is director Spike Lee, whose new film “25th Hour” opens using

the two blue beams of the Twin Tower memorial lights as a backdrop.

This tone of regret and loss sets the stage for a very emotional

film starring Edward Norton. Monty Brogan (Norton) is a convicted

drug dealer spending his last night of freedom before serving a

seven-year jail sentence. His two closest friends, Jakob and Francis,

are planning one last get-together for Monty before his

incarceration.

Jakob (Philip Seymour Hoffman), an angst-ridden, rich man’s son

who teaches at a private school, is struggling with his attraction to

Mary (Anna Paquin), one of his students. Francis (Barry Pepper) is a

functional alcoholic, but is a financially successful stock and

commodities trader living in a formerly desirable apartment

overlooking ground zero.

Before he meets Jakob and Francis, Monty has promised to see his

father James (Brian Cox), a retired firefighter now running a bar

that has become a shrine to those lost on Sept. 11. James blames his

former drunkenness after his wife’s death for Monty’s life choices.

Also complicating Monty’s last moments of freedom is the

insistence of his former drug connections, ruthless Russian

gangsters, on seeing him that same night. His closest Russian

associate, Kostya (Tony Siragusa), delivers this message and also

tells him his betrayer must have been Monty’s own live-in girlfriend,

Naturelle (Rosario Dawson).

“25th Hour” deals with lost opportunity. By all accounts, Monty is

a decent man who engaged in a very indecent enterprise. He seems to

be sleepwalking through the hours before his imprisonment because he

can’t come to grips with the reality. Even arranging for the care of

his dog is representative of the time he will never get back and the

inevitable fact that the world will move on without him.

“25th Hour” features well-drawn, complex characters that you care

about. Norton excellently portrays a man hoisted on his own petard, a

victim of bad decisions he should have been smart enough to avoid.

The notion of the complexity and fragility of life itself, and

consequently the elusiveness of happiness and fulfillment rather than

just survival, is a constant undercurrent of this film. The film is

thought provoking and bound to be a bit controversial due to the

unapologetic use of a drug dealer as the protagonist.

With “25th Hour,” Spike Lee returns to his rightful place as one

of America’s premier film directors. This film is among his best

works and deserves to be seen.

* VAN NOVACK, 48, is the director of institutional research at

Cal State Long Beach.

Denzel fails to deliver in ‘Antwone Fisher’

When viewing Denzel Washington’s debut directorial effort,

“Antwone Fisher,” a few cliches leapt to mind: It wears its heart on

its sleeve. It’s heart is in the right place. It has a heart of gold.

It wasn’t hard to think them up while watching what amounted to a

cliched retread of the far superior “Good Will Hunting.” It feels

better suited for TV.

Stubborn Antwone (Derek Luke) is a young naval cadet whose

volatile temper threatens to cut short his career. As a last resort,

Antwone is forced to attend three one-hour sessions with kind, but

firm naval shrink Jerome Davenport (Washington).

After the predictable rocky start, Antwone and Davenport develop a

close father-son relationship as they confront the demons lurking in

Antwone’s past.

To be sure, Antwone has no shortage of demons: Born in a prison,

abandoned by his mother, father shot in a jealous rage by a

girlfriend, beaten by foster parents, etc. If this wasn’t based on a

true story, I would say the story felt implausible.

“Antwone Fisher” has a very clumsy, amateurish feel. Washington

may be an A-list actor, but he makes a lot of the same mistakes as

most first-time directors. Visually, it suffers from novice

cinematography and staging. It opens with some fancy angles during a

dream sequence that seems to establish an art film, but quickly

dissolves into constant cuts and boring one-shots of characters

faces. It’s Filmmaking 101.

This is a “talking heads” film, meaning that it’s basically a

series of two-person conversations recorded in the most unimaginative

way possible. A good rule of thumb in filmmaking is to show, not

tell, and this is a movie that likes to tell religiously, explaining

every nuance to us for fear that we just might not get it on our own.

When Antwone declares that, “I’m still standing! I’m still strong,”

it’s pretty hard to miss the point.

The story structure is also problematic. This is Antwone’s story,

yet we’re subjected to a series of scenes focusing on Davenport’s icy

marriage. I would venture to guess this was added to give Washington

more to do, as he is the only bankable name attached to the film. Not

only does this extraneous story line split our attention, the scenes

are redundant and don’t build on each other -- and the cause of the

marriage friction isn’t revealed until the end, leaving the audience

adrift in mystery. The only problem is, this isn’t a mystery.

“Antwone Fisher” is muddled with flashbacks that fill us in on the

horrific events of Antwone’s past. They’re intended to be some of the

most emotional, revelatory moments in the film, but in reality, they

bring the story to a grinding halt, destroying any momentum the film

has going for it.

“Good Will Hunting” was full of counseling sessions that delved

into the past, but it did so with minimal flashbacks, and the secrets

unearthed were all the more disturbing because the audience was

forced to use their imagination.

Washington is amiable and warm. He delivers the quality

performance you expect from a star of his stature. Luke was a strong

choice for Antwone, not because he’s a particularly gifted actor, but

because he feels authentic.

I wish I had enjoyed this film more. Antwone’s story is one that

deserves to be told better than it has been here. I actually got the

opportunity to read the script last summer and found it to be very

moving. But the transition from script to screen was obviously not

smooth, and powerful emotions were repackaged into heavy-handed

cliches that the filmmakers probably felt would be easier for

audiences to handle.

* ALLEN MacDONALD, 29, is currently working toward his master’s

in screenwriting from the American Film Institute in Los Angeles.