Reel Critics

* EDITOR’S NOTE: The Reel Critics column features movie critiques written

by our panel of community members.

Cage sleepwalks through flawed film

To his credit, Jerry Bruckheimer has produced several blockbuster action

films worthy of note. But he is now many years removed from such hits as

“Beverly Hills Cop,” “Top Gun” and “Crimson Tide.” His latest offerings

have become increasingly loud and obnoxious examples of Hollywood’s

summer action movies.

“Armageddon” and “Con Air” precede his current effort in predictable,

formula movie making.

“Gone in 60 Seconds” is a classic example of the genre that includes bad

acting, lame dialogue and a thin plot. It offers some great special

effects, but they are too few and far between to satisfy the target

audience of teenage boys with short attention spans.

Nicolas Cage sleepwalks through his starring role, reciting his lines

with a wooden delivery and deadpan face. Angelina Jolie oozes sex appeal,

but her minimal presence is wasted in this film as the sparks never

ignite between the two stars.

There are many other contrived and phony characters not worth mentioning.

The only gritty realism is provided by Robert Duvall and the excellent

Delroy Lindo, who plays a hard-nosed cop intent on chasing Cage. Their

portrayals raise the film to the level of a mildly amusing diversion. But

this is feint praise for a big-budget movie from a man who once made

memorable summer hits.

Boring and mind-numbing at its worst, “Gone in 60 Seconds” is forgettable

fluff at best. Too bad. Everyone involved is capable of better than this.

* JOHN DEPKO, 51, is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator for

the Orange County public defender’s office.

Wretched remake searches for characters

Well, it turns out that you can fail miserably, even with three Academy

Award-winning personalities in a movie. Why did they remake this wretched

1974 B-movie? The pedal-to-the-metal hype missed the curve and left the

audience with a blown engine. Instead of car chases, “Gone in 60 Seconds”

delivers character chases.

Nicolas Cage basically played Nicolas Cage--he never developed his

character, Memphis Raines. The story is that Raines promised his mother

he would retire as a car thief so his younger brother wouldn’t follow in

his footsteps. Well, his bungling derelict brother, Kip (Giovanni Ribisi)

did trace his sibling’s footsteps and messed up. Now Kip is going to die

at the hands of thug Raymond Calitri (Christopher Eccleston).

Memphis’ brotherly love puts him right back in the life he promised to

leave years ago. He must steal 50 cars in four days or his brother dies.

He rounds up his ace car thief buddies--most who have retired or gone

straight--including ex-girlfriend Sara “Sway” Wayland (Angelina Jolie), a

Ferrari mechanic and barmaid. Who cast that one?

Also chop-shop guru Otto Halliwell (Robert Duvall), whose usual high

standards of talent shine--missed first gear on this one.

We were positive there must be one wild razzle-dazzle, full-throttle car

chase like in “French Connection” or “Bullitt.” Well, near the end

Memphis routs himself into a Shelby GT-500. But fighting heavy traffic

and the concrete-lined Los Angeles River didn’t quite pack the punch we

had waited for.

This was a joyless ride. Save your gas money. You won’t get your money’s

worth.

* GAY WASSALL-KELLY, 60, is the editor of a Balboa newspaper and is

active in the community. BILL KELLY, 59, is an industrial engineer.