RON DAVIS -- Through My Eyes

I’ve been avoiding Bobo, my canary friend, like the plague. Not only

because his opinions have gotten me in serious trouble, but because I’ve

never appreciated the way he lines his cage with my column photo and his

decorative remarks.

Nonetheless, it was time for me to check in with him.

To my surprise, I found Bobo in great spirits. As a matter of fact, he

was not only in a great mood but surrounded by a couple of makeup

artists, sunglasses and several packages of Bobo’s Gourmet Bird Seed.

“What gives?” I asked.

“I’m getting ready to promote my own brand of bird seed,” he said,

pausing. “Bobo’s Gourmet Bird Seed -- on national television no less.”

“National television?” I asked.

“You betcha Bozo,” he responded. “I’m going to make millions on my bird

seed when the national television audience downloads the Huntington Beach

Fourth of July Parade, where my mug and Bobo’s Gourmet Bird Seed are

prominently displayed as one of the parade’s sponsors.

“This year I’m paying big sponsorship bucks to the parade so that my

product can be seen on television throughout the nation from beautiful

Huntington Beach,” Bobo continued.

You know some of the crazy ideas Bobo gets in his little noggin. He’s

said some absolutely ludicrous things about the city and Huntington Beach

City Council -- things I would never think of saying. So I was reluctant

to get on his wrong side by questioning his strategy.

On the other hand, given that my picture was lying face up at the bottom

of his cage, I’m probably already on his wrong side.

With some hesitation, I mentioned that only a handful of stations

actually televise our Fourth of July parade. I reminded him that while

we’re proud of our parade and proclaim it as the largest parade west of

the Mississippi, to the rest of the nation, it’s still a very basic Main

Street, USA, parade.

After I said that, I knew my photo was going to take a beating. He told

me that big-time sponsors such as Tommy Hilfiger and Chevron were putting

big bucks into our parade and were prepared to put in a lot more when the

parade was rerouted down Pacific Coast Highway.

He said that many more TV stations would be downloading the parade when

the route incorporated the Huntington Beach lifestyle -- sand, ocean,

volleyball, roller-skating, surfing and bikini-clad chicks (a bird can

get away with that kind of a sexist remark).

He told me that with the additional sponsorship revenue contributed by

Hilfiger, Chevron and Bobo’s Gourmet Bird Seed, there’d be a lot more

money to upgrade the parade, resulting in an even better Fourth of July

event for the residents of this community. He referred to rerouting the

parade as a “no-brainer.”

Then I told him that our City Council -- the very same City Council that

continually professes a desire to publicize Huntington Beach and make us

a “destination” -- beckoning tourists with wallets fatter than a

politician’s promise -- decided not to reroute the parade down Pacific

Coast Highway. Instead, I informed him, they voted to continue with the

same parade route, which features a Main Street camera shot of the parade

with a mortuary in the background. Not the kind of parade people across

the nation are dying to see.

“Mortuary on Main Street?” he asked. “I think we should be stressing

Huntington Beach life, not Huntington Beach death.”

Then I told him that the other sponsors refused to increase their

sponsorship because Main Street and mortuaries were not quite as enticing

to television audiences as the Huntington Beach lifestyle with the

Pacific Ocean. I explained that without the extra sponsorship money, we

wouldn’t be able to improve the parade, which would make it even more

entertaining for the locals and an even better promotional piece for the

city. All of which means that only a very few stations would televise our

parade.

After he kicked his sack of seed a couple of times, I asked him what he

thought of the council members who voted against redirecting the parade.

“No-brainers,” he said.

* RON DAVIS is a private attorney who lives in Huntington Beach. He can

be reached by e-mail at o7 [email protected]