Jay Cutler: Need to get away?

If you were Jay Cutler, where would you go to hibernate this winter? The Bears quarterback has taken a beating from commentators and fans after leaving the team’s NFC championship game last weekend with an injury.

It didn’t help that the Chicago team’s opponent was its longtime nemesis, the Green Bay Packers. It also didn’t help that Cutler has the body language of a sulky teen-ager. Fans not only questioned the extent of his injury but his toughness.

Ouch.

As the commercial says: Need to get away?

Here are some suggestions for places that might provide just the getaway that Cutler needs:

The Caribbean: This longtime getaway spot for fugitive rich guys is so off the radar that Robert Vesco once tried to buy an island from Antigua in hopes of creating his own country.

The Wisconsin Dells: If anyone would be forgiving of Cutler, it would be Packer fans. And the Kalahari Resort is holding a Super Bowl party featuring 1,000 televisions throughout the resort. Other options include a private hot tub in front of two 42-inch TVs.

Cody, Wyo.: This place is to cowboys what the Caribbean is to felonious financiers. In Old Trail Town, there are two cabins that housed Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid between bank heists. Score.

Paris: Who goes to Paris in February? That’s the whole point. Besides, the French care nothing about American football. And Mars has more sports bars than Paris.

Big Bear: This Southern California mountain retreat has welcomed errant bears for centuries. Cutler would be like Garbo here. Sunny skies, decent snowpack. Just don’t let Bears fans see you on skis, dude.