Here’s some free vacation advice for John Boehner and the former Volkswagen CEO

For very different reasons, John A. Boehner and Martin Winterkorn are both really ready for vacations. And I’m here to tell them where to go.

First, for Boehner (R.- Ohio), the suddenly-lame-duck Speaker of the House who has been struggling for years to unite the widely disparate Republican ranks in Congress: I prescribe an immediate trip to San Francisco, where because there are so few Republicans it’s easier to sing in harmony. In fact, there are barely enough for a barbershop quartet. Head into the city, gather the GOP faithful and take them to a corner booth at the Buena Vista Café, where there would be no debate over what to order. Have an Irish Coffee, Mr. Speaker, and tell us who you’d like to see out there on Alcatraz.

As for Winterkorn, the newly unemployed CEO of Volkswagen —well, it’s awkward when the world discovers your company has been systematically cheating air-quality regulators for years. No autobahn for you. In fact, with so many recriminations in the air, Winterkorn may be ready to leave internal combustion behind for a few weeks. That’s why he should head for a pair of German North Sea Islands that are virtually car-free.

Heligoland, 29 miles off the mainland, is full of resort hotels and bright-colored fishermen’s huts. In the absence of cars, reported James Waterson in The Guardian, “the locals prefer to get around by push-scooters, whizzing along the harbour front and into narrow streets filled with quiet cafés and small cottages.” The isle of Baltrum, farther south and closer to the mainland, bans cars too. Once you debark from the ferry, life will revolve around the island’s 4-mile stretch of sandy beach, pauses for cups of East Frisian Tea and the occasional horse-drawn carriage ride. It’ll be great, Herr W. – just think of the fresh air!

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