Ranking the new NBA City Edition jerseys: Are Lakers worst?

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The NBA and Nike really ask a lot of their jerseys.

According to a news release Thursday to go along with the unveiling of the 2022-23 City Edition uniforms, those items of clothing are expected to:

— “Represent the stories, history and heritage that make each NBA franchise unique;”

— Honor “the bonds between court, community and culture;”

— “Help break down barriers;”

— “Bring people together;”

— “Build community;”

— “And expand sport for a new generation.”

Wow. That’s a lot of pressure to place on some cloth and thread.

But most NBA fans probably don’t think about that stuff too much when they pluck down their cash for a jersey — they just want to support their teams and look good doing it. And that’s the spirit of this list — ranking the unis from worst to best based solely on the eyeball test, with no thought given to the background of the design, team history or whatever.

Some teams really went all out and produced some fun, thoughtful, unique, fashionable outfits any player or fan would be psyched to wear. Others tried to do some of those things and failed to varying degrees. And some teams clearly had better things to do with their time.

Here’s how they rank (the Utah Jazz do not have a City Edition uniform; all quotes are from the Nike/NBA news release):

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29. Lakers

“Los Angeles is a city where artists know how to transform a blank page into a world of possibility — and that’s the spirit behind this year’s Lakers Nike NBA City Edition uniform.

“Rather than including details that tell a story, the uniform has been intentionally stripped back to its most simple design. So unlike in years past, the uniform is not the story — it’s a vehicle to tell the stories behind individual Changemakers around Los Angeles.”

LOL. Sounds like someone forgot their art project was due today ...

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28. Orlando Magic

So apparently if you squint really hard and place your nose right up on the chest of someone wearing this apparently black jersey, you will see “a metallic gray accent, evoking a suit of armor.” Way too much work.

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27. Milwaukee Bucks

The Bucks have one of the NBA’s best logos. Use it!

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26. Washington Wizards

Another one that requires too much work to see anything unique about it (in this case, some cherry blossoms).

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25. Chicago Bulls

Supposedly, the city’s Municipal “Y” symbol has been worked into this design. But this is an eyeball test, and the only thing these eyeballs see is a boring Bulls jersey.

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24. Philadelphia 76ers

Philadelphia 76ers 2022-23 City Edition jersey

Cool idea, but “City of Brotherly Love” is a bit long to fit neatly onto a jersey.

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23. San Antonio Spurs

They tried. They really, really did. On this list, that counts for something.

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22. Oklahoma City Thunder

Nothing fancy, but nice.

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21. Denver Nuggets

Nice, but nothing fancy.

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20. Boston Celtics

Tidy tribute to Bill Russell.

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19. New York Knicks

Snazzy.

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18. Memphis Grizzlies

Memphis Grizzlies 2022-23 City Edition jersey

Even snazzier.

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17. Indiana Pacers

A wearable conversation piece.

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16. Portland Trail Blazers

Basically a sleeveless soccer jersey. There’s probably a market for that.

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15. Cleveland Cavaliers

Cleveland Cavaliers 2022-23 City Edition jersey

Why is this so high on the list? “THE LAND”

Why is this so low on the list? “THE LAND”

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14. Houston Rockets

“Bringing back last year’s design, this year’s Houston Rockets Nike NBA City Edition uniform reminds Rockets fans of the rich history of the franchise while pushing the team into the future.”

In other words, “we forgot too.”

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