The Times’ NBA rankings

BEN BOLCH’S RANKINGS, COMMENTS THROUGH SATURDAY

MONSTER TRUCKS

1. CHICAGO (15-3) Tops in pecking order for first time since Bulls had . . . Jud Buechler. (2)

2. OKLAHOMA CITY (13-3) Washington loss is as close to Chaminade-Virginia as the NBA gets. (1)

3. MIAMI (11-4) LeBron James to Mike Brown: “Hey, didn’t you used to coach Cleveland?” (3)

18-WHEELERS

4. DENVER (12-5) Nuggets glad to see Carmelo Anthony again . . . even more glad he’s gone. (5)

5. ORLANDO (11-4) Asking price for Dwight Howard increases to Andrew Bynum plus Hollywood sign. (6)

6. INDIANA (10-4) TSA detains Pacers, says they don’t look like themselves after loss to Kings. (9)

7. PHILADELPHIA (11-5) You gotta believe: Sixers off to best start since 2000-01 season. (11)

8. ATLANTA (12-5) Hawks reprising annual ritual of piling up wins before playoff dive. (12)

9. SAN ANTONIO (10-7) NCAA tournament selection committee considers Sacramento a bad loss. (8)

10. CLIPPERS (8-5) Wall Street says Minnesota collapse was biggest since Lehman Brothers. (10)

11. LAKERS (10-7) No one has come up this empty in Florida since Al Gore. (4)

12. UTAH (10-5) Jazz to Andrei Kirilenko: Look at all the fun you’re missing. (15)

13. PORTLAND (9-7) Erratic team is so up and down it petitions to be renamed the Cyclones. (7)

14. DALLAS (10-7) Mavericks consult with script editor on working in more happy endings. (13)

15. MEMPHIS (9-6) Winning Streak helps Grizzlies emerge from hibernation with temps still freezing. (18)

16. HOUSTON (9-7) It’s a lucky win after seven-point fourth quarter against Hornets. (23)

NOT MUCH PICKUP

17. CLEVELAND (6-9) Hello, Cleveland! Cavs play as if lost in own arena during 39-point defeat. (17)

18. MILWAUKEE (5-9) Staying within striking distance of .500 genuinely excites Bucks fans. (24)

19. PHOENIX (6-9) Suns still waiting for Christmas card from Kobe Bryant. (19)

20. NEW YORK (6-10) Next! Time for another roster makeover since this one isn’t working. (14)

21. BOSTON (5-9) Suns loss keeps team from adopting UCLA football’s new cheer: the 6-8 clap. (16)

22. MINNESOTA (7-89) Love wins Round 1 vs. Griffin in battle of heavyweight forwards. (25)

23. SACRAMENTO (6-11) Parting gifts? Kings give fans memorable victories over Pacers, Spurs. (26)

24. GOLDEN ST. (5-10) New coach, new philosophy, same results for woebegone Warriors. (21)

25. TORONTO (4-12) Canada is where NBA coaching careers go to die. (22)

DOES U-HAUL MAKE A 5 FIVE-FOOTER?

26. NEW ORLEANS (3-13) Marquee outside New Orleans Arena reads: “Puppet show and Hornets.” (20)

27. NEW JERSEY (4-12) These guys are good -- halftime performers at Prudential Center, that is. (28)

28. DETROIT (4-13) It’s a new kind of Bad Boys era in Auburn Hills. (27)

29. CHARLOTTE (3-13) Detour alert: Tobacco Road considers wiping this stop off map. (29)

30. WASHINGTON (2-13) With Wizards, Nationals, Redskins -- nation’s capital is a pro sports backwater. (30)