The College Conversation:

As the college-bound class of 2010 students enter the college class of 2014, many are still pondering their college options. For students who had their heart set on one or two particularly competitive institutions, where they were denied admission, the decision does not come easily.

With one week left before the May 1 national deadline for students to declare their intent to register at one institution, students must dig deep and consider this question: “Where do I fit?�

As the parent, it’s important to assist with the decision-making by remaining optimistic about the exciting college experience that lies before your college-bound child. You must do everything possible to help them view their options with enthusiasm. Do your best to keep your own anxieties in check as you encourage self-reflection in your child. Now is the time to begin letting go, and you don’t want to overwhelm your child because of your own insecurities.

A catty, competitive peer is not someone you, or your child, should be taking advice from because this often causes unnecessary anxiety. The prestige factor is often what comes into play, especially during this time of year when students and parents are bragging about their college “conquests.� There is plenty of research out there that proves it’s not where you attend college that matters, rather what you choose to do while you are there.

Your friends’ perspectives are often skewed and based on limited first-hand knowledge of a university. Don’t dwell on the fact that Susie was accepted to UCLA with a lower grade-point average and test scores. You may not know the whole story behind Susie’s admission.

To really help your child make the best college selection, turn to him and start the conversation by asking, “Where do you honestly see yourself next year?�

Return to that original list of what your child was looking for in a college. More than likely, initial college research was not as thorough as it should have been, so now is the time to examine and research the university based on the specific preferences that caused your child to originally apply.

I should also add that it’s OK if your child changed her mind; it’s better for that to come out now rather than later.

She should read every piece of literature available about these universities in the various college guidebooks available at her local bookstore.

Head to Barnes & Noble or Border’s, grab an iced blended mocha and peruse the College Guide area. Or better yet, hop on www.unigo.com and read the student reviews of colleges.

The National Assn. of Independent Colleges and Universities developed an incredible website that provides you, the consumer, with valuable information about specific higher educational institutions to help you make a well-informed decision.

Visit www.UCan-network.org to review the available college and university profiles.

As the parent, you should examine the four-, five-, and six-year graduation rates of students at these universities to evaluate the feasibility that your child will graduate sooner rather than later. This can save you money in the long run and help you evaluate how strong the advising programs are at these universities.

Finally, reassure your child that this is not a life-or-death decision. If the incorrect choice is made, and she feels uncomfortable later on, she can always come home or transfer to another university. While this might not be what you want to hear, most parents would rather have their child deal with transferring colleges than stay in a place that is making them miserable.

So, the conversation this week is more of an internal dialogue within the student, and your voice is one of support, encouragement and optimism.

Keep in mind this final selection is a very personal choice — personal to the family and even more personal for the student who will be heading out the door next fall.

LISA MCLAUGHLIN is the founder and executive director of EDvantage Consulting Inc., an independent college admission counseling firm in South Orange County. Her column runs on Saturdays. Please send college admissions questions to [email protected]