High yet low for Succop

NEWPORT BEACH — An inflatable goal post stood on every table, where some thought about flicking pieces of food through the uprights.

Out of respect for Ryan Succop, they behaved Wednesday night. Leave it to the man of the hour for accuracy.

Succop is a kicker trying to make it in the NFL, but everyone got a kick out of him.

The last player selected in April’s NFL Draft was the butt of practically every joke at the All-Star Lowsman Banquet at the Newport Beach Marriott Hotel & Spa.

The agent negotiating Succop’s three-year, $1.2 million contract with the Kansas City Chiefs failed to back up Succop Wednesday. Don’t worry because super sports agent Leigh Steinberg was in the building.

“As the official agent for all Irrelevant players, I’ve negotiated an even better contract,” Steinberg said. “But it’s worth nothing more than the paper it’s printed on.”

Forget about presenting Succop with a fat contract. A money order for the 256th pick from the University of South Carolina would’ve sufficed.

The third day of Irrelevant Week was an uproarious success. Succop prepared for the roast, the one given to Mr. Irrelevant for 34 years.

As the players change, so do the jokes.

“They said if you can make it through this, you can definitely make it through training camp,” Succop said past players receiving the distinction of Mr. Irrelevant informed him.

“I think I can handle this.”

Helping Succop get through the evening was the fact he wasn’t familiar with a lot of the former NFL players taking a crack at him.

They were as old as their jokes.

Christian Okoye is one player Succop might want to listen to because he’s big and he played for the Chiefs. The former bruising back, known as the “Nigerian Nightmare,” didn’t sound as tough as he played.

Okoye offered sound advice.

“Kansas City has good barbecue,” Okoye said. “Go and get barbecue because the players and coaches would love you for it.”

Anyway to make it in the NFL, Succop is all for it. After all, his last name is pronounced, “suck-up.”

Earlier in the day, Succop worked out at Orange Coast College with Doug Smith, a former All-Pro lineman.

Kickers exercise, too. And Smith came away impressed with the 6-foot-2, 218-pound Succop, who also made an in-studio appearance at the NFL Network in Los Angeles for the show, “Total Access,” earlier in the day.

“If you look at him, he’s not your standard kicker,” said Smith, who played for the Los Angeles Rams.

Smith said he sees a little of one of his former teammates, kicker Mike Lansford, in Succop. Back when Smith played in the 1980s, kickers were considered football players on an individual basis.

“If they’re running down, trying to contribute to make the tackle, and not afraid to stick their nose in there,” Smith said kickers are treated as football players.

One former veteran lineman who dislikes kickers is Matt Willig.

Willig acts now. He wasn’t acting when he said he used to shove the kicker in a closet when he screwed up.

“I hate kickers,” said Willig, who looked at Succop and understood someone the size of Succop would’ve put up a fight if he tried that stunt on him.