SOUNDING OFF:

If anyone has a right to fear and loathe homosexuals, I do. In 1971, my mom arranged to have a “baby-sitter” take me to a movie. When the movie ended, the man in charge of my safety took me to a nearby hotel and sexually abused me before returning me home. I was 8 years old, and my innocence was taken away forever.

For the next 25 years, I was convinced that I was broken, perverted or somehow not whole. Over the years, I took a great deal of anger out on homosexuals. Every opportunity that came along, I assaulted homosexuals and vandalized their property. I would never get my innocence back, but abusing “them” sure made me feel better.

Then one day when I was 35, one of my oldest and dearest friends told me he had fallen in love with another man. Up until that point, homosexuality was an abstract idea. But when my friend told me that he was gay, it became personal. After nearly 30 years of being a proud homophobe, I was suddenly forced to choose between my friend and my bigotry. As if someone had waved a magic wand over my head and cast a spell, I chose to support my friend without hesitation. Nearly 30 years of anger evaporated in an instant.

Living in Corona del Mar, in the most conservative part of Orange County, my wife and I now have many friends, as well as a few neighbors, who are gay. When Proposition 8 came up on the ballot, we enthusiastically voted No in support of our friends. They are homeowners, business owners, customers, members of the finest yacht clubs and more importantly, they are friends. When I walked by the home of one of our gay neighbors this morning, I expressed to him my genuine sadness for his loss. But my sadness in the passing of Proposition 8 runs much deeper.

I am sad that bigotry has won over compassion. I am sad that homophobia has prevailed over acceptance. I am sad that religious conservatism, fear and ignorance have overpowered reason, dignity and tolerance. It took American women 53 years to gain suffrage after African American men. Yesterday, our fellow Americans made good on the words that “all men are created equal.” But by passing Proposition 8 simultaneous to that historic event, our fellow Californians added an exception to the rule.

My wife and I are blessed to have a beautiful 3-year-old daughter. When the time comes, we will teach her about homosexuality. We will introduce her to our gay friends. We will teach her to treat all humans with dignity, with acceptance and with loving respect. We will also teach her to be patient with those who make decisions based on fear and ignorance. We are Americans after all, but the passing of Proposition 8 marks a dark day in our cultural history.

QUINTIN EASTON lives in Corona del Mar.