Moral of the story:Painful loss brings true awareness of God

Prayer is not the least but the most we can do for another human being.”

“Cindy, I pray for you all the time,” a friend said recently.

I thanked her and said, “I have never been so totally aware of God’s presence and of people’s prayers; I truly feel upheld by them.”

I can’t describe how powerfully and how sweetly I’ve felt God’s love in these three months since the car accident I was in that took our precious daughter Amy’s life.

When I look at pictures of the van, I shudder at the crumpled remains, but I also shake my head in wonder. I shouldn’t be alive, and the fact that I only have whiplash and some scars is unbelievable.

All I can say is that Amy’s number of days on earth were up, and mine was not. That’s why I choose to live life purposefully, as Amy did so well, loving God and others.

The accident threw us into a painful chapter of life. It also ushered us into a deeper dependence on God, and an awareness of His intimate involvement in all our life. For example, Aug. 11 was Amy’s birthday, and though the day was hard, God graced it in unique ways. I awoke during the night knowing I needed to read the journal I’d written Amy beginning when I first found out I was pregnant. Here is an entry after I first heard her heartbeat: “I really sensed that God was asking me to trust Him — and very specifically to trust Him about the timing of you. It was hard for me to do.”

When Amy was 3 years old she said, “I won’t be sad when I die because then I’ll be with Jesus.” The journal was filled with precious memories of our little girl, but also with messages that God loves us, and reminders that Amy is happily living with Him in heaven.

Thank you all for your prayers that comfort us and keep our eyes focused on our loving God.

And you can quote me on that.