KIDS THESE DAYS:Teens just need a little job advice

In 1983, I was the vice president of a successful wholesale company in Los Angeles. Don’t let the title fool you — when it got really busy, I was picking orders in the warehouse with the rest of the crew, who were almost all college kids working part-time.

As we grew, I had to hire more warehouse help. One of the young men I hired was “Ken,” who showed up about as neat in his appearance as a budding warehouse worker can get, short of wearing a tie.

Based on his appearance and some other positive characteristics, I hired him. When he showed up for his first day of work a few days later, he was wearing one earring.

In 1983, American men with earrings were rare. Actually, men with earrings drew weird glances. But it wasn’t the earring that bothered me, it was the fact that he hid it during his interview. That told me something important about Ken — namely, not to trust him.

Right about now, kids all over the community are looking for summer jobs. Some of them have started too late, others will find work through connections.

The transition from a summer of play to a summer of work is an important milestone in the lives of our children. To make the transition as smooth as possible, here are a few pieces of advice to our local kids for acquiring and keeping a job:

1)Wear your piercing and show your tattoos on your job interview. It is important for your employer to know that you are willing to mutilate your body to show off the name of your ex-girlfriend.

2)Arrive on time to your interview and arrive late to your first day on the job. I know, I know, everyone else says “be on time,” but that may be the worst advice you can take. You see, jobs are all about leverage and expectations. If you’re always on time, you are expected to be on time always. So when you are late, you’re going to look like a slacker or that you’re slipping. But if you arrive late every so often, you’re going to be a hero when you arrive on time.

3)Never work overtime, even if you get paid. Uncle Sam is going to take a good chunk of the money anyway, so don’t knock yourself out.

4)Never bring your lunch. If you have a summer job, you’re probably making something close to minimum wage. Since there’s no chance of saving any serious money, you may as well live it up and eat out everyday.

5)Get a food job. The alternative to not bringing your lunch is to get a job where you can eat for next to nothing or for free. Better still, save even more money by getting a job at a gas station.

6)If you are working in a retail operation where you are assisting customers don’t ever say “thank you” to customers. The people who shop in the store should be grateful that you are in business — you don’t owe them a thing.

7)Take personal calls whenever they come up and talk for as long as you like. After all, many people emphasize the importance of friends and family over our jobs, so when a friend or family member calls, give them the priority they deserve.

Obviously, any local teenager following these guidelines is not going to last very long. I was being sarcastic to illustrate what I believe is a huge gap in workforce habits by teenagers across the country.

Not all teens are this bad, but most of the ones with whom we interact have a fundamental ignorance of how to get, keep or advance on the job.

The good news is the responsibility for improving this is shared. Most kids will do what is asked of them but their supervisors fail to take the time to tell them exactly what that is.

So, to all working local teens, good luck on your jobs this summer. I don’t care what you’re doing, your job will always provide you with the opportunity to learn something new every day.

You just have to work at it.