Becoming best buddies

Deirdre Newman

Andy Howell is a gregarious teenager with an engaging smile that

lights up his face. Monica DeLadurantey is more reserved, exuding a quiet

confidence that belies her 16 years. They have known each other since the

eighth grade at Corona del Mar High School. They go dancing, watch movies

and eat lunch together.

But during the school day, they are in different classes -- Monica, a

sophomore, is in a mainstream classroom and Andy is in special education

classes. While their friendship evolved naturally, they have forged a

closer bond through their involvement with the Best Buddies program, an

international nonprofit organization that has recently established

chapters at Corona del Mar and Estancia high schools.

The program hopes to change the social paradigm of special education

students, who tend to depend on their parents as their primary social

outlet. It also encourages students from both groups to take risks and

chip away at the inevitable social barriers that exist in high schools

with diverse student populations.

“A lot of people stereotype other people here and it’s not fair,” said

Monica, president of the Corona del Mar chapter.

While the Best Buddies program just started at Estancia, it came to

the Corona del Mar campus in the fall through the dedicated efforts of

Suzy Thatcher, the school’s special education teacher.

“I had tried to do something informally, but this was the perfect

thing for our campus,” Thatcher said.

There has been so much interest in the program that Thatcher has had

to double up some buddies. Currently there are approximately 30 special

education students paired up with about 50 buddies.Andy, 18, has cerebral palsy, which was caused from abuse he suffered as a child, said his mom,

Donna. The right side of his body is paralyzed. He’s had several

surgeries during 12 years since Donna adopted him.Monica also knows what

it feels like to be different, to not be accepted by her peers, because

of her experience with a prior disability. When she was younger, people

thought she was deaf because she had delayed speech. She didn’t start

talking until she was 5.

“I know how it feels to be picked on,” she said.

Best Buddies usually encourages students to pair up by gender, but

Monica said she wanted to partner with Andy because of the special

relationship they have.

“I saw him in eighth grade and then started talking to him and when

guys would come up to me, he would push them away and say, ‘no,”’ Monica

reminisced.

The program suggests that the buddies talk on the phone once a week

and then engage in a more involved activity twice a month. Monica and

Andy talk on the phone more often.

“He gets on the phone and tries to call her all the time,” Donna said.

“I try to curtail it a little. She’s a really wonderful girl. She seems

to enjoy him and that means a lot to him and to me.”

And they usually see each other every day at school.

“He looks for me at break and sometimes during lunch we usually just

see each other and sometimes I’ll go to the classroom to surprise him,”

Monica said.

They have danced together at a Best Buddies bash -- “he couldn’t stop

dancing, I couldn’t keep up with him,” Monica said. They have seen movies

together. Andy dragged Monica to “Jimmy Neutron” -- “I already saw it,

but I wanted to see it again,” Andy said. And every so often, they meet

for lunch in Thatcher’s classroom.

Andy is an exception to the isolated pattern of special education

students at school, said Thatcher.

“He’s so well-known on campus,” Thatcher said. “When we have parties,

he invites everyone.”

But he does spend most of his time off-campus with his extended

family, which includes two other foster children and another child Donna

is a guardian for. Best Buddies provides more outlets for him to hang out

with friends, Donna said.

“For him to be able to go with someone who is a ‘normal’ person and be

out in the community with her and have that experience of doing things

with normal kids -- that’s really a godsend,” Donna said.

Thatcher said she has noticed a change in Monica as well through her

participation in the program.

“I’ve seen her becoming more assertive and confident. She was always

kind and caring. She’s taken incredible leadership and is a role model

for compassion and empathy,” Thatcher said.

-- Deirdre Newman covers education. She may be reached at (949)

574-4221 or by e-mail at o7 [email protected] .