Soul Food -- Michelle Marr

Michelle Marr

o7 “He who loves God must love his brother also.” 1 John 4:21 f7

Last week my husband, seven family members and I went to a concert at

the Coach House in San Clemente. When we arrived there was a CD titled

“Missing” placed at nearly every seat at every table.

At first glance we thought it was some sort of punk rock marketing

ploy.

The word “Missing” hung among clouds in a grunge-style typeface. Rows

of black and white, photo booth-like snapshots filled the cover like

posters on a garage wall.

When the opening act came on stage we learned otherwise. Singer and

songwriter, Jannel Rap told the story of her sister, Regina Bos, who was

reported missing on Oct. 16, 2000. Gina, as Bos was known, was last seen

leaving a pub in Lincoln, Neb. after playing an open mike there. Her car

was found in front of the pub the next morning. The trunk was open. Her

guitar, money and music were inside.

“Missing” is Rap’s way to bring public awareness to Gina and other

missing persons. It is her answer to the question without an answer.

When really, really bad things happen, the first thing people usually

ask is “Why?” It’s a question, Rap said, that never gets an answer.

After the federal building was bombed in Oklahoma City, I recall

seeing a televised broadcast of Billy Graham visiting the city. A family

member of one of bombing’s victims stood before Graham with her face

flooded with grief and anguish. She asked him, “Why did this happen?”

I remember being stunned by the honesty of Graham’s answer.

“I don’t know,” he said.

I imagined it took a great deal of courage for him to deliver those

three inadequate words that day.

When very bad things happen to people we love we desperately want

there to be a good reason. We want to know that our loss and the

suffering of our loved ones are not in vain.

When I told a friend about Rap and her missing sister she replied

without a pause, “There’s a reason for everything.”

“You mean there is a good reason that Gina disappeared,” I asked her.

This time there was a pause.

“Well, yeah,” she said.

What good is a bad reason?

If the truth is any good at all, a bad reason may be the truth. But in

bad times that’s probably not what we are looking for. Most likely we are

looking for purpose, for meaning, for some kind, any kind, of a happy

ending.

Last week I read a story about the father of a 16-year-old girl who

was brutally murdered last year in a Costa Mesa park. Her murderer is

still unknown and at large.

“Things happen for a reason,” her father said in the story, though he

is still trying to figure out what that reason is. He is haunted by

“should haves” and “could haves.” He hopes that his daughter’s death will

help others better understand the importance of appreciating their loved

ones.

This is a worthy message about something that is all too easy to

forget in our feverishly busy world. But it is hardly a good reason for a

young girl to be snatched from her family and her future while her

murderer lives free.

It’s important not to lose sight of the fact that bad things happen

for bad reasons. Human frailty -- a moment of poor judgment, a yielding

to temptation or human depravity are at the heart of life’s most heart

breaking events. It’s hard to find hope and comfort in the idea that evil

has its good reasons. God extends his comfort to us in another way. He

offers us hope through a promise: “In all things God works for good with

those who love him.” Romans 8:28

* MICHELE MARR is a freelance writer and graphic designer from

Huntington Beach. She has been interested in religion and ethics for as

long as she can remember. She can be reached at o7

[email protected]