The embrace of a friend

Ellen McCarty

Lori Ash and Edith O’Neil have a lot in common. More than most.

For the last 20 years, the women have shared the same passion for cancer

patients and helped each other navigate the complex matrix of their

professional and personal lives.

One glance and it’s easy to see that these women share more than

leadership positions at the Orange County Regional Medical Center. They

share a deep, caring friendship; one that’s inspired fellow employees and

cancer patients alike.

So it doesn’t completely surprise them that they were diagnosed with

cancer within nine months of each other this year, and that they have

survived the disease together.

In hindsight, they said their understanding of the disease saved them

from the most dangerous thing of all: their fear.

“Cancer sounds like a death sentence, but it’s not,” said Lori Ash, 54,

coordinator of psychosocial services at the center. “Many women say they

don’t get mammograms because they don’t want to know if they have the

disease or not. Unfortunately, in those cases, the patients usually are

diagnosed too late.”

One of seven women in Orange County will develop cancer, Ash said, but if

diagnosed early enough, most will survive their brush with the disease.

Recognizing October as Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the center is

encouraging women to begin getting annual mammograms at age 40, or

earlier for women with a family history of cancer.

Ash was diagnosed in June with stage one breast cancer. The microscopic

cells of cancer were identified by a mammogram and cut out of her body

before they grew into tangible lumps.

Edith O’Neil’s case was more severe. The center’s 55-year-old

administrative director was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer in

November 1998, but the cells had spread to her blood stream, so she had

to undergo a double mastectomy as well as chemotherapy.

When she lost her hair, O’Neil entertained her co-workers by coming to

work in a bright blond wig. “I told the other employees that if I can’t

have Dolly Parton’s breasts, I might as well have her hair,” O’Neil said.

“They were rolling on the floor.

“At that point, I still had a 99.9% chance of survival,” she added. “If I

had waited another six months to get a mammogram, it would’ve been

different.”

Although the procedure that saved Ash’s life, a lumpectomy, was less

drastic than O’Neil’s surgery, it wasn’t easy to face.

Luckily, Ash didn’t have to face it alone.

O’Neil was in the waiting room, as was Kathy Bates, a 53-year-old cancer

survivor who met Ash when she was diagnosed with cancer in 1995.

For the last seven years, Ash has led the center’s cancer support group

“Embracing Life.” Bates, who met Ash through the support group, said it

transformed her life.

“I was sorry I had the opportunity to give back some of the tremendous

support Lori has given me over the years,” she said. “I learned that it’s

a lot harder to be in the waiting room than on the surgeon’s table. I was

so worried about her.’

Ash said her memories working with so many patients over the years gave

her courage. “When they wheeled me into the operating room, I kept seeing

all the faces of all the women who had been down this road before me and

who had made it to the other side.”