'Water is wet, and the sky is blue' agenda item pitched by councilman - Los Angeles Times
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‘Water is wet, and the sky is blue’ agenda item pitched by Huntington Beach councilman

The Huntington Beach City Council listens to public comments during an August 2023 meeting.
Huntington Beach City Councilman Dan Kalmick, left, said of his satirical response to an agenda item proposed by Councilman Pat Burns, not pictured, that he doesn’t actually believe his colleagues will take up a vote on his own proposal for Tuesday night’s agenda.
(James Carbone)
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Water is wet, and the sky is blue.

So says Huntington Beach City Councilman Dan Kalmick in an unusual agenda item he has introduced for Tuesday night’s Council meeting.

Kalmick said Friday he doesn’t anticipate actually voting on whether water is wet and the sky is blue, but the item is satire in response to an item submitted by Mayor Pro Tem Pat Burns for the same meeting.

Burns’ item seeks affirmation of the Council’s commitment to the U.S. Constitution, and special recognition that Huntington Beach is friendly to the 1st and 2nd amendments.

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“These people are not serious people,” Kalmick said, repeating a phrase he has used from the dais about the conservative majority on the City Council. “They’re not serious about governing, they’re not serious about what we’re actually there to do at the local level. Again, Pat is going to grandstand on some national issue … This is just shouting to people that agree with Mr. Burns, and I don’t know why this would be on the City Council agenda. This has nothing to do with what we do in our city.”

Burns did not return a message seeking comment.

In his item, Burns references former President Donald Trump defending himself from what he called unreasonable charges in court. He also references Kalmick himself, whose lawyer sent a cease-and-desist letter to City Council candidate Chad Williams after some recent public comments over children’s library books.

Burns continues that the state of California has a “constant attack” on the 2nd Amendment, while decrying open borders and claiming Gov. Gavin Newsom encourages illegal immigration.

“This is barely scratching the surface of the infringements being committed against the citizens of our state and country,” Burns wrote. “This is a warning of a gross deterioration of our Republic and of our beloved freedoms.”

But Kalmick referenced the conservative City Council majority standing with Texas in a border dispute during a February vote. That item was also brought forward by Burns.

“This national politics thing at the local level is corrosive and is breaking our city,” Kalmick said. “If we were a 1st Amendment city, we wouldn’t have the ACLU sending us letters. We wouldn’t only be having Christian prayer, we wouldn’t be stopping public records from being released.”

Kalmick’s item has been ordered before Burns’ item on the agenda, though Kalmick said it was submitted after Burns submitted his. Tuesday’s agenda also includes discussion over adopting a budget for fiscal year 2024-25; the proposed budget was recently released.

The meeting begins at 6 p.m. Tuesday in Council Chambers at City Hall.

“This meeting’s going to be a complete circus, so I brought the acrobats,” Kalmick said.

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