What to do when someone is making loud bodily noises
Q: What do you do when someone makes annoying bodily noises, such as blowing his nose loudly, chewing loudly, burping or grunting?
A: With some family members and close friends, you can point out the irritating noise if, and only if, you do it in a kind way to not embarrass the person.
If the offender is your boss, esteemed colleague or client, you need to hold your tongue and refrain from giving even the smallest eye roll or nasty look. In business, it’s important to build positive relationships for civil work environments and levels of trust and cooperation. Therefore, commenting on someone’s personal habits at work, regardless of how irritating, is crossing the line.
If someone is doing something that’s irritating, physically remove yourself from the situation (leave the room, change seats, etc.) or alter the situation to change the person’s behavior.
I did the latter with my beloved grandpa, who was an avid whistler. I hate whistling because it gives me an instant headache, so when he would start, I’d ask him questions. Eventually he’d forget the tune, and quiet would be restored.
— Aimee Symington, international etiquette expert and CEO of Finesse Worldwide, Inc.
A: Before confronting a grunter, consider that grunting is sometimes caused by discomfort and pain, or boredom and disinterest. Perhaps the individual is having a bad day. Be compassionate, and try to ignore it.
There are times, though, when you simply can’t ignore annoying noises, like loud gum chewing. When people chomp and chew their gum obnoxiously, jaw working overtime, that is not an accidental noise — it is deliberate. Ask the gum-chewing offender to stop.
If a person apologizes for a natural bodily function noise, accept the apology and carry on. Don’t joke about the situation, no matter how tempted you are. The last thing you should do is make a big deal out of it and humiliate the person.
— Jacquelyn Youst, president of Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol
Social Graces is a weekly series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations.
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