Bestie Brunch wants to help women in L.A. make friends

By Martine Thompson

March 30, 2023 5 AM PT

It’s a recent Saturday afternoon in downtown Los Angeles, and I’m feeling a bit nervous. As I scan building numbers in the Arts District on foot, searching for the gallery space for a Bestie Brunch meetup, a friendly woman in pink leaving the event sees me and quickly registers that I’m lost. “Girl, it’s just around the corner,” she says, gesturing toward my destination and noting my pink outfit — the color theme of the event — with a knowing smile.

Compton native Aryn Morris, 28, dreamed up a monthly L.A. Bestie Brunch gathering with a clear intention: bringing together women in Los Angeles who are looking to make friends. The meetups, along with the selected theme, are announced each month on BestieBrunchLA.com and the event’s Instagram, @bestiebrunchinc. There’s a $25 standard ticket that covers admission and a food buffet (with vegan options), as well as a $35 VIP ticket that includes food plus two mixed drinks.

As a tender nudge for guests to mingle and feel on even ground, attendees are encouraged to arrive alone.

A portrait of Aryn Morris, wearing an orange top and feathered pink skirt, against a pink background

The concept for Morris’ Bestie Brunch gatherings, which launched last October, began to take shape after she returned home from college and found herself in L.A. without girlfriends to hang out with, while also processing the aftereffects of a traumatic friendship breakup. “It’s always been difficult for me to find friends in the city,” she says as she describes the ease she experienced connecting with people while studying design and cultural studies at UC Davis.

When Morris moved back to L.A., she “started going out alone to dinner, to festivals, going to flea markets,” she says. “It felt very clique-y or group-y. It wasn’t a space that I felt was welcoming for a young woman to just show up alone and meet friends because everyone already had [their friendship groups].”

The desire to make genuine connections and the struggle to make friends as an adult are common human experiences. “As grown as I am, it is nerve-wracking,” she says, “but when others can relate to you, it makes it a bit easier to be vulnerable and to be open about your experience.

“I thought, why not start an event where women are encouraged to come alone? And they can feel comfortable to come to this space where everyone here is looking for the same thing,” Morris says, noting the hundreds of TikTok comments she’s seen and received from other women who’ve found themselves without good friends or a core friendship group. “It made me feel like, ‘Hey, it’s not only me having this issue.’”

A group of women scattered around a room, sitting at tables and serving themselves from a buffet in the foreground.

In recent years, researchers have looked into the importance of having good friends. According to a 2018 study published in the science journal PLOS One, nonsexual interpersonal touch between friends, such as receiving hugs, was shown to reduce stress and serve as an effective buffer while experiencing hardship. Also, another study from the same year explored the impact of meaningful friendships on a person’s well-being and determined that quality friendships improve our overall life satisfaction.

“As a medical doctor, I wish I could prescribe friendship for everybody,” says Dr. Kelli Harding, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center in New York and the author of “The Rabbit Effect.” “Caring friendships buffer stress, reduce pain, lower blood pressure, boost your immune system and improve your mood. Investing time in making genuine friendships is also a great investment in your health.”

Genuine friendships between women, Harding says, are “gifts to ourselves and a lifeline when facing challenges.”

When I swing open the door to Bestie Brunch, I’m met with a warm greeting from someone stationed at a table with name tags and drink tickets. The room is a sea of pink and lively chatter. Women are smiling and vibing to the playlist flowing throughout the space, and groups are sitting and standing around tables clothed in pink, laughing and chitchatting while holding plates of food and mixed drinks. You’d never know this room was filled with people who were complete strangers a short while ago.

Two women dressed in pink, laughing together while holding drinks

A group of women sitting on sofas and chairs around a coffee table

A self-described homebody, Hesh-Ke Edwards, 52, is glad she pushed through her initial nerves and showed up to Bestie Brunch. “I thought about turning around a couple of times while driving here,” says Edwards, a London-born designer who runs the online shop Lucy Lily Boutique. “I even sat in my car for 10 minutes before coming in.

“Today’s been really great,” she continues. “It’s really empowering when you connect with other women who are open to meeting new people and bringing you into their circle because life is tough. We all need someone we can talk to and relate with or understand. We’ve all been exchanging Instagrams and phone numbers, so I’m really excited. For me, this is like a whole new beginning because I really don’t go anywhere.”

Nicole Jones, a 25-year-old Sacramento native who’s attended two Bestie Brunch meetups solo, hopes people feeling hesitant to attend a Bestie event alone “go for it 100%, even if you are by yourself.”

“The vibe is great. Aryn is great, and it’s a welcoming environment,” Jones says enthusiastically. “I moved [to L.A.] with no friends and just luggage, and just by being here, I’ve made dozens of friends and I haven’t been bored since.”

A woman with her back to the camera, revealing the message on the back of her T-shirt: "You deserve to be loved"

Bestie Brunch has attracted a myriad of women across age ranges, racial and ethnic backgrounds, and industries, including publicists, doctors, artists, service industry folks, caretakers, lawyers, students and people figuring it out — and that’s intentional. “My slogan is: Come as you are,” Morris says, “no matter race, skin color, sexual orientation or whatever you may be going through.”

For Koya Murphy, 28, who moved to L.A. from North Carolina, the connections she’s made after attending multiple Bestie Brunch events drastically improved her mental health. She says she initially hated L.A., and experienced intense loneliness and depression due to feeling so isolated, but things have turned around for the better since making new friends.

“This is my second time moving to L.A. I lived here in 2019 and 2020 and met no one. I’m sure the pandemic had something to do with that, but I never made a single friend,” says Murphy, adding that she’s happier this year than she has ever been in her life. “After making connections at Bestie Brunch, I now have this group of girls I go to yoga in the park with every Sunday or whenever WalkGood LA has it. I go out to lunch or brunch with some of the other girls I met at Bestie Brunch, maybe a Friday-night outing — just regular friendships — and I wasn’t expecting that.”

Two women hugging, one looking at the camera

Rian Smith, 25, a publicist and voice actor who relocated to L.A. from Maryland, has also had new life breathed into her social activities after attending her first Bestie Brunch event in December.

“I was embraced by so many different girls of different ages and backgrounds and who have all kinds of different jobs. I met several other publicists, animators, a woman who does graphics for the Clippers,” says Smith. “Now I have a whole group message of girls I can just text and say, ‘Hey, there’s this party this weekend. You guys wanna go?’ And they’ll just show up. Even for my birthday this weekend, I’ll be going out with them.”

Smith emphasizes that in her own experience of nurturing friendships with women she met at Bestie Brunch, intention has also been key. “When the new year came around, I said, ‘OK, I’m planning a dinner, so we did all go out.’ Texting occasionally is nice, but we need to all see each other. By Jan. 10, we were all out at dinner having Korean barbecue. It’s definitely way less lonely now, especially as an adult who works remotely.”

At one point during brunch, Morris’ mother, Pamela, 55, shares her feelings with me about the rapidly growing community her daughter has cultivated.

“I am so proud of her,” she says. “Connection is very important, no matter how young you are, no matter how old you get. You need to feel like you belong. You need to have genuine people in your life. The older I get, I’m starting to realize, ‘Hey, I need genuine people in my life who I can count on.’ And I need sister-friends — and that is what Aryn has so graciously created here. And I love it.”

Three women talking, laughing and sitting around a small table

As the event winds down, a large group forms by the stage, erupting in cheers, laughter and dancing. Women begin doing a viral TikTok dance to the Beyoncé song “Cuff It” from her “Renaissance” album, followed by a group that electric slides to the singer’s cover of “Before I Let Go.” The room looks like a scene I’ve seen and been a part of countless times: cutting up on the dance floor with your girls as joy emanates from all around.

I check in with Morris again. “This is what God is calling me to do. It’s still very new, but it feels really right. It makes me emotional, seriously,” says Morris. “I’ve had this spark with Bestie Brunch where my heart and soul are in it, and it just feels like creating this space for women is my ministry. I’m elated — and I’m in shock that this is only the third event, and each event continues to sell out with more tickets added. I’m grateful. I like that I’ve found my lane with just being able to serve others.”

As for what Morris hopes women who come to Bestie Brunch leave with, the answer goes back to the mission at the heart of the monthly events: genuine connection.

A group of women in pink and orange, clinking glasses together for a cheers

“I hope it feels like a warm and safe space, because it can be hard to find that in this disconnected generation in society,” she says. “I really do hope that every woman in there makes a genuine connection that they’re able to hold onto and cultivate a friendship. Friendship is really important for women — for our mental health and just for so many aspects of life. This is not a space for the most perfect Los Angeles woman who’s shining the brightest in the world.”

By the time I get ready to leave Morris’ Bestie Brunch gathering, my nervousness has melted away. Instead, I am all smiles and exchange a few hugs and heartfelt goodbyes on my way out. What lingers in my psyche the most after the event is how nourishing and vital community is and how that desire for human connection doesn’t magically dissipate with age.

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