Two Guys Lose Weight: Day 1 of Cookie Diet

NOTE: This is a blog about two guys attempting to lose weight over a six-week period. They kicked off their weight loss “strategies� on Jan. 10.

Yes you can survive on six cookies, a chicken breast and a can of peas. Day 1 of the Cookie Diet, and I must say I was a little hungry through the day but the hardest parts were not fighting the pangs, but resisting the smells and opportunities all around me.

The first came from the trendy hipster ice cream truck sitting outside my office when I got in to work. I’ve had a Coolhaus before and it’s delicious. Hand-scooped home-made natural ice cream piled high between two cookies. Ironic, don’t you think?

The second came from the young woman I have sat next to for over three years. The vegan. Recently a local pizza joint began serving vegan pizza and to her delight she indulges now about once a week.

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Let me assure you, if all you have had is two cookies all day, even vegan pizza smells like the most delicious creation of all, even if you are from Chicago and allegedly know that there’s no way a vegan pizza can be that good.

To add insult to injury, auto critic David Undercoffler, East Coast jokester, thought it would be a fine idea to walk past my desk and hold his ice cream sandwich uncomfortably close to my face. A younger Tony Pierce would have taken a huge lick from the frozen treat but clearly I have lost a step with age.

Meanwhile I had totally forgotten that I had scheduled a lunch meeting with one of my favorite L.A. Times bloggers, Andrew Malcolm of Top of the Ticket, and my diet partner Jimmy Orr. Andy probably found it odd that one of his lunch buddies was eating a veggie burger, plain, no bun, and the other guy was simply drinking a Diet Coke.

I say probably because Andy’s focus appeared to be on his delicious hamburger, completely oblivious to our so-called lunch.

There is no lunch on the Cookie Diet. Just a cookie.

In order not to look completely pathetic, no i did not bring my cookie to The Redwood. I left it at my desk and devoured it when I returned.

How do the cookies taste? I brought a few extra to work to share with my co-workers, as they are always up to trying something new and judging it mercilessly. They hated them.

A very pleasant copy editor who rarely ever has a bad thing to say about anything compared the flavor to “fabric.�

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In fact not one of the people who tasted a bite of the chocolate chip cookies enjoyed them.

But I did. And I do. They’re spongy and sugary and they do stave off hunger for about three hours until it’s time to eat another one.

I did feel a tad lightheaded once during the day, and I visited the men’s room once more than normal, but I felt strong enough to go to the gym and I didn’t eat my one real meal until after 10 p.m.

After the gym I went to Zankou, got a quarter chicken to go. Took it home and microwaved a bowl of peas. Downed it with a bottle of orange flavored Under Way drink (20 calories for 16 oz).

One of the things they advise during the first week of the Cookie Diet is to not drink alcoholic beverages. Not because the booze could affect you in a dangerous way, but because if you really want to lose weight there’s just way too many calories in hooch.

Naturally I was asked if I would like to go drinking on Friday, and then when I told the young lady no thank you, I can’t drink this week, she asked me later if I would like to drink with her in a few hours.

Dieting would be a lot easier if the people around you were all somewhere else.

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