‘Colbert Report’s’ ‘Buddy Cole’ helps Olympic athletes seem ‘not gay’

Russia’s anti-gay laws have been a source of concern for many Americans heading into the Olympic Games, but Stephen Colbert appears to have the solution. On Tuesday’s “Colbert Report,� he sent “self-avowed man’s man� Buddy Cole to meet with the U.S. men’s speed skating team to give them some tips on how to seem not gay.

We should mention that “Buddy Cole� is actually former “Kids in the Hall� member Scott Thompson. The Buddy Cole character actually made his debut on “The Kids in the Hall� and Thompson himself once described the character as a “butch queen.�

So what were Cole’s helpful tips for the speed skaters?

For Jordan Denton, who spent time growing up in Texas and France he cautioned, “More Texas; less France.�

He suggested JR Celski’s Justin Bieber-like haircut was “a little lesbian� and counseled him that “chicks dig scars.�

PHOTOS: Winter Olympics in film

And their tights? They “screamed gay propaganda.� In order to make them less attractive, Buddy suggested adding fanny packs, dockers, sweaters and the “gay kryptonite� of Crocs.

Finally, finally, Buddy delighted in finally achieving the maximum heterosexuality. Hopefully those young men will be safe, thanks to Buddy Cole.

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