Tori Spelling details why she divorced Dean McDermott

Tori Spelling, left, and Dean McDermott pose together against a floral background

By Nardine SaadStaff Writer

April 1, 2024 1:56 PM PT

For her new podcast, Tori Spelling recorded herself informing husband Dean McDermott that she had just filed for divorce — 10 months after they separated and about a month shy of their 18th wedding anniversary.

The “Beverly Hills, 90210” star broke her silence about the split on Sunday in the debut episode of her iHeartRadio podcast “misSPELLING,” which she recorded moments after filing her dissolution of marriage petition on Friday in Los Angeles Superior Court. The podcast episode started with Spelling leaving McDermott a voice message asking him to call her back. Later in the chat, she recorded her side of the conversation when McDermott returned her call and apparently argued about why she should be the one to get to file first.

“So, I just filed for divorce ... whoa, I said the words that I’ve said in my head for like 16, 15 years. I just got word from my lawyer that it’s public,” the 50-year-old said.

Spelling said that she “never felt so alone” despite being “in a room full of friends doing a podcast.”

“I don’t feel worth loving. That’s the truth. And that’s something that’s just in you, it’s not something I wanted or created. That starts when you’re young,” she said. “[Learning how to accept being loved], that’s not easy to do. ... I don’t know if you can. ... It’s a harder task than we realize, especially if you don’t believe it.”

The TV star, whose filing lists her as Victoria D. Spelling, cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split, according to court documents obtained by The Times. The pair wed on May 7, 2006, and Spelling listed their date of separation as June 17, 2023 — the day McDermott announced online that the couple separated in a missive that he later deleted. Spelling is requesting sole physical custody of the their five children — Liam, 17, Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 7 — with joint legal custody and visitation rights for McDermott.

The “So Notorious” star is also asking a court for spousal support, but to remove McDermott’s ability to request spousal support from her. She wants him to cover her attorney’s fees and noted in her filing that the nature and extent of her separate property has not yet been determined.

Representatives for McDermott did not immediately respond Monday to The Times’ requests for comment. However, the “Chopped Canada” host told paparazzi in L.A. over the weekend that he is “doing good,” according to a video obtained the Daily Mail.

“It’s been a long time coming but T and I are good,” he said.

Spelling appeared to echo that sentiment on her podcast, which made headlines over the weekend because it featured her posing nude in promotional material.

“There’s this weird thing that I didn’t know about before that you have to be careful with your ex,” Spelling said on the podcast, explaining why she was calling McDermott to inform him of the filing. “Like, it’s a he-said/she-said, who filed first. I had to file and go through the process and then once it was accepted and publicly posted, then I’m allowed to call and fill in my ex. So I just called Dean, He’s working and I have to tell him and I’m super nervous because I don’t like confrontation. That stopped me for a really long time [from] wanting to do this and hurting him, protecting him and protecting the kids.”

The “True Tori” star’s petition comes after the couple’s relationship made headlines for years, due to its 2005 inception on the set of their 2005 TV movie “Mind Over Murder.” McDermott was with actor-singer Mary Jo Eustace at the time, and Spelling was wed to actor Charlie Shanian.

“Dean and I had this fairy-tale romance even though we both were married when we met — not fairy tale right there — but we had other partners that we cheated on and then left,” Spelling said on “misSPELLING.” “And we got together and people were like, ‘Oh, I give it six months,’ and we always say, ‘Oh, we made it 18 years.’ It shouldn’t have made it 18 years and I think he would say the same thing. If he and I had a real heart-to-heart, it would’ve been over a lot sooner.”

Last summer, the “Due South” actor told the Daily Mail about troubles in their marriage, detailing his issues with Spelling’s multiple animals and how their issues “just got worse because we stopped sleeping in the same room.” The actor, who has struggled with alcohol and drug abuse for decades, said in November that he spent the summer staying in a sober living facility. And Spelling on Sunday said that she wants to dispel rumors about their relationship and living arrangements for the sake of their children, whom she said were asked by schoolmates if they were homeless or if they lived in an RV.

On her podcast, she countered McDermott’s allegations about their union by saying that he had “anger issues,” exhibited “red flags” and “always threatened” to divorce her.

“I saw red flags, I like to say I like to make dresses out of red flags and then proceed,” she said, noting that she had planned to leave McDermott after her oldest kids “could unbuckle their own car seats.” But they kept having more kids and she kept needing an “extra set of hands.”

So she carried on with the marriage, but cited McDermott’s temper, his “lack of sobriety” and her larger-than-life personality and lifestyle as issues they faced.

“I don’t think he knew how big it would be. How big the life I was given, and live, is. ... with me it never came and went. From the moment I was born I was in the press and there hasn’t been a reprieve from it, so you just have to be used to jumping on board in that world and just getting through it and owning it. I thought he was on board with that.”

Spelling said she “noticed a shift in our relationship” the day she found out she was pregnant with their first child, which was a month after her father — legendary TV producer Aaron Spelling — died in 2006.

“As soon as it wasn’t all about him, and I don’t think he intentionally did this, all the focus changed to the baby in my belly,” she said, later adding, “But honestly our relationship was never the same after we started having kids ... everything went out the window. I became completely focused on the kids, and kind of left him in a way. It doesn’t excuse his behavior and everything he did and how he handled things.”

She argued that her family focus helped resuscitate her career and they “became a family brand”: “I went from ‘Hollywood rich girl, starlet’ — ‘starlet’ that’s as bad as me calling myself a sex symbol — to ‘Cool Mom.’ ‘Look at her, she does it all’ ... meanwhile, behind the scenes it was all falling apart.”

The actor, who detailed her life in her many books, said she “created the character of Dean like all those Prince Charmings I wanted when I was young.” And despite going to therapy for about 15 years, it didn’t help “because we were talking about two different things,” she said.

Tori Spelling divorcing from Dean McDermott, records the notice for her new podcast

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