Denmark isn’t buying California. But if it did ...
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Good morning. Here’s what you need to know to start your day.
- An unserious conversation about Denmark buying California.
- Frustrated with crowded resorts, more skiers risk avalanche hazards in backcountry.
- Looking for utter relaxation? Here are 6 of the best head spas in L.A.
- And here’s today’s e-newspaper.
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Could Denmark purchase California? No. But let’s have some fun
California would become New Denmark if backers of a recent online campaign can get buy-in from the Nordic nation (and the cash).
Dubbed Denmarkification, the recent petition aims to “bring hygge to Hollywood, bike lanes to Beverly Hills, and organic smørrebrød to every street corner.”
“Rule of law, universal health care and fact based politics might apply,” it adds.
Under this unserious proposal, Denmark would buy California for $1 trillion, effectively making us a Danish territory (similar to Greenland).
“Let’s be honest – Trump isn’t exactly California’s biggest fan,” petition creator Xåvier Dutoit wrote. “He’s called it ‘the most ruined state in the Union’ and has feuded with its leaders for years. We’re pretty sure he’d be willing to part with it for the right price.”
Among the perks for Danes, according to Dutoit: Nearly year-round sunshine, unlimited avocado toast, and Disneyland — though that would be renamed “Hans Christian Andersenland.”
Dutoit, who is not Danish himself, told me he launched the satirical scheme “purely to make a point about how absurd Trump’s claims to [buy] Greenland really were.”
I know what you’re thinking: This is asinine. I agree and I’m here for it. We could use a little dumb fun right now.
And since the current administration is either incredibly serious or seriously joking about acquiring Greenland (and Canada), I’m taking the opportunity to be seriously unserious about the Golden State joining the Kingdom of Denmark.
But how do actual Danes feel about this? I asked Hazel Alva, a comedian and activist born, raised and currently living in Copenhagen, Denmark’s capital city. While the petition isn’t getting much traction among Danes, she told me the international reception has been encouraging.
“A lot of people are scared and it’s important to connect over it in a humorous way,” Alva said.
Denmark is a famously happy nation. It’s held a close second to Finland for years in the annual World Happiness Report, which ranks countries based on the level of happiness reported by their people.
The U.S., meanwhile, didn’t make the top 20 last year. And a 2023 survey from the Public Policy Institute of California found fewer adults in the state reported being “very happy” compared with previous surveys, and more said they were “not too happy.”
Does Alva worry we’d bring Danes down?
She shared a joke from her comedian friend and American expat Abby Wambaugh: “The reason we’re so happy and having a cozy time in Denmark is because we don’t have to worry that if we go to the hospital, we’ll be in debt for the rest of our lives.”
“If we could bring public health insurance to California, then I think the happiness rate could go up for sure,” Alva said.
Another dilemma: Acquiring California would boost Denmark’s population and GDP to among the world’s largest faster than you could say “så er den ged barberet.” Would California’s supermajority change Denmark more than Denmark would change California?
That’s a real risk, Alva said, though she’s optimistic that the Golden State culture and Nordic way of life would meld more than clash.
“I feel like a lot of the stereotype of Californians and people in L.A. is the flakiness — people are very chill and don’t stick to their times,” she said. “Whereas a lot of both Danish and Nordic people in general are very on time. Maybe we could both learn from each other there. Danes could be a bit more relaxed and Californians could be more on time.”
Here’s more from my seriously unserious conversation with Alva about the fictitious land deal (edited for clarity and brevity).
Ryan: Would we still be California? Because we love being Californians.
Alva: We would add the extra Danish letters. Instead of California, it would be ‘Califørnia’ and it would be ‘Løs Ångeles.’ The Danish language is a lot of just pretending you have potato in your mouth or pretending you just had a bit too much to drink. You would just have to have a bit of a slur in your speech whenever you said names of cities or states.
I visited Copenhagen briefly in late 2022. The bike infrastructure was incredible. Nothing like that here.
I have been there (Los Angeles) and tried to ride a bike as well. It was really dangerous.
How quickly could you get our bike infrastructure up to Danish standards?
One of the reasons Denmark has such great bike lanes is because we used to have the trams in the middle of the road, then they got removed. So we had all this extra space to make really big bike lanes, which is fantastic infrastructure.
Maybe in L.A. we just remove like half of the car lanes and then people just have to drive less. There’d be better buses, better public transportation and a whole car lane could just be for just bikes.
Would Solvang be our new capital city since it’s already super Danish? Or is Legoland the obvious choice?
Wait, is there a Legoland in California?
Yeah, there’s a Legoland near San Diego.
I think Solvang could just expand and take over all of California. Then you can have all the fun. Solvang has all these fun Danish treats and foods that are all mixed together. And then it could just be a really fun cultural confusion. I think it’d be amazing.
Would we have to get a new governor? Someone with Danish heritage, like Viggo Mortensen or Mads Mikkelsen?
Even Scarlett Johansson could work. Mads Mikkelsen could do it. He’s definitely got the accent down. I think it should be him.
That makes sense. You also have a royal family in Denmark. Would Californians be subjects of the Danish crown?
We had the same Queen for many, many years … but she abdicated last year, which was historic. A lot of Danish people really panicked when she decided to give up the throne to her son. It was a very dramatic ceremony — and it was really funny, because the only thing that happened was that they signed some papers and someone sat in a chair and it was very quiet.
Basically, as far as I understand, the role of the royal regents in Denmark is they have to put a signature if a big law is made. And if they refuse to sign, then they just can’t be king or queen anymore. So it’s kind of pointless … [It’s] a big time mascot role.
I was reading about Janteloven. Can you describe that for me?
It’s a word to describe the Danish culture that Danes can be very modest. You’re not supposed to speak very highly of yourself or think too highly of yourself in public. Whereas one of my friends compared it to America, [where] you get told you can be the president, you can be an astronaut, you can be all these things. In Denmark the culture is more to not try to outshine your neighbor too much. People get a bit shocked if you have news that’s a bit too good or you talk too highly of yourself or you dress very loudly.
Well, that would be a big culture clash. Do you think it’d be better if Danish people were a little more like Californians in that regard? Or do you think California should bring it down a notch?
I definitely think that there could be more forwardness or expressiveness [among Danes] and that maybe some Americans could also calm down a bit. But I also think there’s strength in both … being modest and calm, and being very loud and expressive. It would just be an interesting mix.
Today’s top stories
Children’s Hospital Los Angeles keeps limits on transgender care amid challenges to Trump’s order
- CHLA hasn’t reversed its recent decision to pause initiating hormonal treatment for transgender youth, days after federal judges put parts of an executive order on hold.
- The L.A. hospital was warned by the office of California Atty. Gen. Rob Bonta that withholding gender-affirming care from transgender youth could violate state law.
- LGBTQ+ advocates have also stressed that many of the changes outlined in the executive order hinge on federal rulemaking that has yet to be carried out.
When it comes to elevating livelihoods, a CSU degree is tops in California
- According to a new study that looks at economic mobility in higher education, California State University campuses ranked nine out of the top 10 schools.
- Cal State L.A. ranks No. 1 in California for its ability to improve economic mobility for low- and moderate-income students.
Beyond ‘Emilia Pérez’: Inside 7 of the nastiest Oscar campaigns in history
- By the time “Emilia Pérez” had garnered 13 Oscar nominations, including for best picture, Netflix’s Spanish-language musical about a transgender drug lord had already been mired in controversy.
- In addition to “Emilia Pérez,” contenders including “Anora,” “The Brutalist” and “I’m Still Here” have caught flak for various reasons.
- Past controversial Oscar campaigns include those for (and against) “Shakespeare in Love,” “The Color Purple,” “A Beautiful Mind” and “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?”
What else is going on
- Aryan Brotherhood case raises a question: How to stop killings ordered from state prisons.
- Venezuelans sue the Trump administration for ending temporary legal protections.
- Affordable housing in the San Fernando Valley advances despite opposition from Bass and the City Council.
- Mitch McConnell won’t seek reelection in 2026, ending his long tenure as a GOP power broker.
- A woman said to run Hollywood drug delivery service faces trial — but not for the fatal overdose of a Beverly Hills man.
- KCAL journalist Chauncy Glover’s cause of death has been revealed, and ruled an accident.
- The chances of an asteroid hitting Earth in 2032 have changed. But what’s the risk, really?
- ‘The Baldwins,’ Alec and Hilaria’s TLC show, addresses ‘Rust’ shooting and PTSD.
- A teen has been charged with attempted murder in a stabbing during L.A. immigration protests.
- Trader Joe’s organic acai bowl has been recalled over contamination fears.
- The Trump administration backtracks on eliminating thousands of national parks employees.
- Ex-NFL player Chris Kluwe explains why he got arrested protesting Huntington Beach MAGA library sign.
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Commentary and opinions
- Stay in Altadena? Residents tell columnist Steve Lopez: ‘We’re torn, because we love this neighborhood and we love all these people.’
- It’s not a great year for climate change at the Oscars, columnist Sammy Roth writes.
This morning’s must reads
Frustrated with crowded resorts, more skiers risk avalanche hazards in backcountry. Despite the obvious risks, there has been a steady rise in the number of people heading to the backcountry to “earn their turns” in recent years. One reason is the eye-watering cost of lift tickets: A single day of skiing at Mammoth can cost as much as $219 this season. “Another is the crowds: Despite the high cost, standing in a lift line on a holiday weekend can feel a lot like staring at taillights in rush hour on the 405 Freeway,” Times reporter Jack Dolan writes.
Other must reads
- ‘My next home must be fireproof’: Why more Angelenos are looking to build ‘SuperAdobes.’
- The originator of Panda Express is back. Is the new orange chicken better?
- The 10 most baffling Snoop Dogg branding deals, from Hot Pockets to ‘lit’ fire pits, ranked.
How can we make this newsletter more useful? Send comments to [email protected].
For your downtime
Going out
- 💆🏾♀️Looking for utter relaxation? Here are 6 of the best head spas in L.A.
- 🎥A relocated Slamdance Film Festival launches its first edition in Los Angeles.
Staying in
- 💻Robert De Niro delivers a thoughtful performance as a former president in ‘Zero Day’— now streaming on Netflix.
- 🥦 Here’s a recipe for strascinati with sprouting broccoli, fennel sausage and Fresno chiles.
- ✏️ Get our free daily crossword puzzle, sudoku, word search and arcade games.
A question for you: What’s your comfort TV show?
Anne Lockwood writes: “When things get really dark - as they so often do in our country today - my husband and I will tune into ‘Everybody Loves Raymond.’ It is really silly but some of the lines are just laugh out loud funny. The relationships between the family members is so real at times, and who but Marie captures the quintessential mother-in-law! It is such a relieving ‘brain break’ to the news chaos we face everyday.”
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And finally ... your photo of the day
Show us your favorite place in California! Send us photos you have taken of spots in California that are special — natural or human-made — and tell us why they’re important to you.
Today’s great photo is from Times photographer Allen J. Schaben near a master-planned community in Irvine where homes were planned and built to be fire-resistant.
Have a great day, from the Essential California team
Ryan Fonseca, reporter
Defne Karabatur, fellow
Andrew Campa, Sunday reporter
Kevinisha Walker, multiplatform editor
Hunter Clauss, multiplatform editor
Christian Orozco, assistant editor
Stephanie Chavez, deputy metro editor
Karim Doumar, head of newsletters
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