How to succeed without spite
Dear Amy: I am a 14-year-old boy who is starting high school next year.
I am slightly small and a little chubby, yet I am talented and smart with sports, and I believe I may have a future in them, yet because of my size nobody believes me.
People also make fun of me for various reasons. I am the kid some people just like to pick on.
Is it morally wrong to be motivated to be successful just to prove people wrong and be able to laugh in their faces later on?
Student in Illinois
Dear Student: If it were morally wrong to motivate yourself toward success just to prove that people’s opinion of you in middle school was incorrect, then a lot of successful people would have to apologize for their success (myself included).
I encourage you toward achieving your goals but urge you to rethink one part of your equation -- the laughing-in-people’s-faces part.
That’s not as awesome as it sounds. Once you reach your goals and become successful, laughing at other people feels petty and small. Don’t do it.
::
Dear Amy: As a practicing physician for more than 25 years, I find it disconcerting when patients call me by my first name. This has nothing to do with feeling “superior†but has everything to do with feeling “professional.â€
Like many people, I play many roles in my life and how I am addressed helps maintain that.
The title of “doctor†goes along with the white coat and the stethoscope in creating a professional relationship with my patients.
I agree with your readers that physicians should address patients by their last name as well, as a sign of respect. As a physician, I am often privy to a patient’s most private feelings; I examine their bodies in the most intimate areas and often tell them life-changing information.
When you call me “doctor,†it helps me focus on my responsibilities toward you and your family. Take me to lunch and call me “Marybeth,†but in the office and the hospital when I am working, please call me “Doctor.â€
Old-Fashioned Doctor
Dear Old-Fashioned: I appreciate your point of view. Do physicians address other physicians as “doctor†when they’re being examined? I assume so.
Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to [email protected].
