Goofy, glitzy-- but sincere

There are two ways a celebrity summit like Wednesday night’s “Idol Gives Back” charity telecast can achieve razzle-dazzle nirvana: through staged spontaneity or grandeur. When the first occurs, as when Fergie did flips across the floor while rocking out with Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart, we viewers are plunged into the fun of the moment. Unexpected gestures by our favorite stars collapse the distance between us and them.

In the second case -- as when Carrie Underwood, perched on a stool in an iridescent Farah Angsana gown, offered up George Michael’s ballad “Praying for Time” with grace, compassion and dignity -- we are lifted up beyond the day’s irritations and momentarily made better. We might even reach for the phone and pledge the money we’d planned to spend on iTunes.

Like the paradigm-shifting talent show that created this charitable opportunity, Fox’s “Idol Gives Back” deftly balanced these contrasts between goofiness and glitz. It shouldn’t have worked -- Jimmy Kimmel shouldn’t have been able to make jokes about Simon Cowell’s man-breasts moments after the sublime Annie Lennox nearly broke into tears while singing the reggae hymn “Many Rivers to Cross.”

You’d think Miley Cyrus would look ridiculous playing the cool teen to Billy Crystal’s grandpa, singing one of her teen-scream hits, and then showing up (on film) in an Appalachian holler, telling destitute kids they’d make great teachers one day.

And this year’s “Idol” contestants themselves shouldn’t have been able to go from mild freak-dancing with the contestants of “So You Think You Can Dance” to donning white and singing the contemporary worship song “Shout to the Lord.” But that’s what they did, opening the show with a little heat and closing it with a holy glow.

This is the entertainment universe we live in now, one “Idol” has helped create: a funhouse with collapsing walls, where the down-and-dirty mingles with the spiritually tinged and a stellar performance has only a moment to rest in our minds before being cut down to size by a friendly joke.

Ryan Seacrest guided us through the contradictions in the show, his giant chipmunk eyes melting when he talked about how much good the millions raised would do and regaining their glint when Robin Williams (pretending to be the Russian Idol) reached for Simon Cowell’s derriere during a bear hug. He showed the most dexterity when wandering through the onstage phone bank manned by the “Idol” kids (a great gimmick -- pledge $10, kids, and possibly talk to David Archuleta), turning on a dime from joking with Jason Castro to intoning about the horrors of malaria.

“She’s made service fun, cool and rewarding,” Seacrest said, introducing California First Lady Maria Shriver, who in turn noted that even folks who can’t sing can become “Idols” by doing volunteer work.

That idea -- that charity doesn’t just help others, it helps the giver become more groovy -- is the ultimate motivator in the post-Live Aid era of mega-charity events. “Idol Gives Back” makes the message more appealing by toning down the transcendence and encouraging its celebrity endorsers to show their human sides.

The show’s tone also stayed snappy to appeal to kids. “We can’t just leave this up to our parents,” said Cyrus, appealing to the same pubescent voters who’ve rocketed Archuleta to first place in this year’s competition.

And turning to the youth vote seemed to work: Before the end of the program, taped Sunday at the Kodak Theatre, Seacrest announced that callers had already pledged $18 million toward the various charities “Idol Gives Back” supports. (A major gift from England, announced on the program by Prime Minister Gordon Brown, also ups the ante, as do sales from the show’s performances available on iTunes; these do-gooders are smart -- they’ll get your dollar even if you spend it online instead of pledging.)

That younger audience must be why Cyrus, who’s no Carrie Underwood, got to sing twice. The array of performances also echoed the wide-demographic approach of “Idol.” Snoop Dogg brought out his community football team for a feel-good rap; John Legend tinkled the ivories behind Fergie before she got raw with Heart; Gloria Estefan and Sheila E. represented for the Latino community -- accompanied, again, by the “So You Think” dancers, representing for the “Idol” producers’ self-interest, since they also created that show.

The celebs pleading for cash between songs and those appearing in the films from impoverished areas in Africa and the U.S. also covered the pop culture waterfront. Does the motherly voice of Julianne Moore not make you reach for your credit card? Then perhaps a WWE wrestler shouting his head off will.

And if all else fails, there’s always Bono, eloquent and humble after a lifetime of raising consciousness about Africa. One of the night’s genuinely unscripted moments came when an African mother who’d lost several children to AIDS responded to Bono’s embrace by giving him a giggly kiss -- and he blushed. Contrasting with the Irish star’s loquacious presence was Chris Daughtry, who turned his film about Uganda into an effective music video, turning the power ballad “What About Now” into a gleeful village singalong.

The show concluded with Mariah Carey, backed by “Idol” judge Randy Jackson on bass, hitting those patented impossible notes on her own inspirational show-stopper “Fly Like a Bird.” Carey, who’s made news recently for surpassing Elvis Presley’s record for career No. 1 singles, is the universal goddess of the “Idol” era: genre-crossing, biracial, with her perfect tan and golden tresses suggesting agelessness.

Millions of Americans probably couldn’t resist throwing coins at her feet. And if that failed, there’s always Jimmy Kimmel to make them snicker, loosen up and donate.

--

[email protected]