When talking Clippers, no more Mr. Nice Guy

By T.J. SIMERS

Nov. 30, 2006 12 AM PT

I‘VE BEEN writing so many nice things about USC lately and the job Pete Carroll did in demolishing Notre Dame, and now I find myself pumping up UCLA and Karl Dorrell.

I ran into the father of a former USC player the other day and he hugged me. Right in public view. Mike Garrett not only said hello but answered a question before running away.

There was a point there where I was hanging on Ross Porter’s every word, defending J.D. Drew and having lunch with Santa Claus, a.k.a Tom Lasorda. And I swear, he was telling stories that I’ve never heard before. I almost found myself listening with interest.

It’s been a bad week, all right, some e-mailers wondering if I’ve gone soft, knowing full well that if I find a one-legged punter to write about, pretty soon I’m going to start being compared to Plaschke.

Fortunately, we still have the Clippers.

And right now they are an embarrassment to mankind. A throw-back to a time when there was no hope around here and they were just crummy. They couldn’t beat the Lakers last week, and apparently they just called it quits after that.

They lost four more games in a row after losing to the Lakers, just to show everyone it wasn’t a fluke. Page 2’s kind of a punching bag.

“Losing to the Lakers took something out of us,” admitted Sam Cassell. “It shouldn’t have taken anything out of us, but evidently it did.”

I thought we were beyond that, but now worse than losing, the Clippers have become boring. There were some people around here arguing that the Clippers were more fun to watch, but Elton Brand has been dragging, Cassell limping, Tim Thomas and Chris Kaman remain missing and Thomas has been playing, while Shaun Livingston has been nothing as advertised.

And I blame Cassell for the whole ugly mess.

A year ago, Cassell came in and began shouting at his teammates, reporters, and even his coach. These were not the same old Clippers, he claimed, and then he went out and proved it, hitting big shot after big shot.

“People tell me I’m more subdued and haven’t been as demanding of the guys as I was last year. If enough people are saying it, maybe they’re right,” said Cassell, who has been bothered by a sore ankle. “Maybe I should become more verbal.”

“No one is going to listen to a guy who isn’t playing,” I said.

And that’s when he started shouting at me, just like the old days when the Clippers were really good. “I’m playing tonight,” he said, while standing and putting a finger into my chest. First time, I believe, he’s been on target all season.

Cassell came off the bench to start the second quarter, and 12 seconds later a pass to Corey Maggette resulted in a spectacular Maggette shot, bringing the crowd to its feet. Then Maggette scored again off a pass from Cassell and Cassell ran over, jumped off the floor -- and that’s not easy for an old man -- and bumped elbows with Maggette.

Who knew the Clippers had any life left in them?

“We’re being hunted this year by teams that we surprised last year,” Cassell said. “Teams want to embarrass us, and you know what, they’re doing a heck of a job of it right now.

“Last year we had something special going, but we don’t seem to be having fun playing the game. Maybe we need to just let loose and do some chest-bumping and high fives.”

Or play Memphis more often.

Beat the Lakers on Saturday, and now that would be something to get excited about. Lose again, and from what we’ve seen of the Clippers’ resolve so far this season, pack up the equipment and call it a season.

VIN SCULLY celebrated his fiftysomething birthday Wednesday and joined the father-daughter radio gabfest with Uncle Fred to talk about Jim Murray, the three hole in ones he’s carded in his career and his love for baseball, which remains as strong as ever. I thought the guy celebrating the birthday was supposed to get the gift, rather than deliver one.

MOST TEAMS don’t ordinarily schedule news conferences to announce the hiring of stiffs or fringe players, but the Dodgers had one for Juan Pierre and Randy Wolf. I guess they wanted everyone to know that Wolf’s arm wasn’t in a sling.

The Dodgers also announced that the names are back on the jerseys, which appears to be the team’s biggest off-season move to date. The team still needs a power hitter, and it appears the Dodgers are going to have to trade some prospects or start including some HGH in their diets.

PIERRE AGREED with me that he looks funny wearing a baseball cap. He said he’s never found one that fits, and wears the bill off to the side because it allows the hat to fit tighter on his head.

“I’m not trying to be cool,” he said.

He said all that matters to him “is winning,” and when I said, “that doesn’t happen around here very often,” I got the impression he was unaware the Dodgers have won only one playoff game since 1988. Why am I always the one to break the bad news to these guys?

PIERRE MADE it known on his first day in a Dodgers uniform that he’s a Miami Heat and Shaquille O’Neal fan, who is now leaning toward becoming a fan of the Clippers. Pierre has not sat out a game in the last four years, a pretty good indication he’s not big on anyone who might tank.

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Tom Turner:

“You can forget about your crisp bacon and egg breakfast. After Pete Carroll’s Trojans get through with UCLA, the only thing you will be served is a big, fat crow.”

Should that happen, I’ve been eating the wife’s cooking for 34 years, so obviously I’ve already been in training.

T.J. Simers can be reached at

[email protected]. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.