They just wanted a smooth ride

So you’re working the late shift at Idaho Ice World in Boise, you’re getting a little hungry but it’s midnight, what can you do? You take a look at the rink’s two Zambonis, then glance at your buddy, then look at the Zambonis again, and the idea hits you.

Food run!

It must have been a shock to the Burger King clerk who looked out the window around 12:30 a.m. on Nov. 10 to see two Zambonis idling in the drive-through lane. The sight of the Zambonis lumbering down a street through an intersection on their way back to the rink certainly caught the attention of one anonymous tipster, which is how the drivers eventually lost their jobs.

“They were fired immediately,� Parks Department director Jim Hall told the Associated Press. “We’re pretty sure it was just the one time. When we interviewed them, they didn’t seem to be too concerned about it. I don’t think they understood the seriousness of it.�

Hall said neither the $75,000 Zambonis nor their $10,000 blades appeared to be damaged, but added that the city could charge the drivers with operating an unlicensed motor vehicle on a public street.

That’s some price to pay for some late-night fast food.

But considering a Zamboni has a top speed of about 5 mph, how fast could that food really be?

Trivia time

Which school has the longest winning streak in the UCLA-USC football rivalry?

A million miles away

Sports headline of the week, courtesy Shortnews.com: “Russian Hits Golf Ball at Least 1 Million Miles.�

Last Wednesday, Russian cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin hit a golf ball into the Earth’s orbit from the International Space Station. He shanked the shot, which sliced to the right, but still got good distance on it.

Depending on the expert doing the talking, Tyurin’s drive will travel a million miles -- or a billion.

Nataliya Hearn, president of Element 21 Golf Co., told AP that the drive would travel a billion miles before it eventually comes down in a couple of years. Element 21 is paying the cash-strapped Russian space agency an undisclosed amount for the golf stunt to promote a new club that includes a space program-derived metal.

Holly Ridings, NASA’s lead spacewalk flight director, put the drive closer to a million miles, saying the ball would stay up only two or three days and would burn up in the Earth’s atmosphere.

The plan was for Tyurin to tee off three times. But after NASA spacewalk commentator Rob Navias noted that the first shot was a slice, an agitated Tyurin decided not to take another shot.

This disproves the long-held belief that in space, no one can hear you shank.

Trivia answer

UCLA, which defeated USC eight consecutive times from 1991 to 1998. The Trojans haven’t lost to the Bruins since and can equal the record with a victory Saturday.

And finally

Alfonso Soriano’s eight-year, $136-million contract with the Chicago Cubs includes a few intriguing perks.

According to contract information obtained by AP, Soriano is guaranteed six premium tickets for each home game during spring training, regular season and -- the Cubs and Soriano thinking quite wishfully -- the postseason.

The contract also guarantees Soriano a suite on Cubs trips, which sounds like a sweet deal, until you get to the fine print. On most Cubs trips, Soriano will soon learn, that suite is in the basement.

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