Never had a fighting chance

Stupid-criminal-of-the-week honors go to the guy in Saskatoon, Canada, who broke into a beauty salon early Friday, failing to notice that the salon shares the building with the Champion Fight Club.

A robbery attempt about 3 a.m. was thwarted by Dave Lochert, owner of the fight club and not the first person you want to see after smashing your way through a storefront window. Lochert is trained in seven types of self-defense -- judo, taekwondo, white crane kung fu, ninjutsu, muay Thai, boxing and kickboxing -- and has been ranked third in the World Kickboxing League.

Dochert was in his club planning for a weekend bout when he heard the sound of shattering glass and went next door to take a look. There he spotted the robber at the service door of the salon. Dochert gave chase down the street, across a parking lot and down an alley before catching the would-be thief, dispossessing him of the hammer he was holding and leveling him with two punches to the stomach.

Lochert began walking the man back to the club when the robber tried to escape.

“I put him in a hold, swept his feet out from underneath him and dropped him to the ground,” Lochert told the Saskatoon StarPhoenix.

Lochert eventually delivered the man to police and offered would-be crooks the following advice: “Check out the signs of businesses next door before you break in.”

Redundant ball

Today marks the 10th anniversary of David Baker’s becoming Arena Football League commissioner, prompting the league’s publicity staff to send out a news release chronicling highlights of Baker’s tenure.

Among them: Last February’s release of EA Sports’ “Arena Football” video game, billed as “the first-ever AFL-themed game produced by the video game giant.”

Indeed, this was a significant development. Two decades earlier, Jim Foster founded the AFL by taking real football and turning it into a video game. A video game of the video game was inevitable, if not altogether necessary.

Trivia time

What local AFL team did Baker own before becoming league commissioner?

Betting the House

and Senate?

Do online poker players hold the swing vote in today’s congressional elections?

According to PokerPages.com, some analysts say the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act, backed by Republicans and signed into law by President Bush on Oct. 13, has “infuriated many voters who enjoy online poker, gambling and sports betting.”

The website quotes Jim Henry, 55, a poker player who lives outside San Francisco, saying, “I’ve been a loyal Republican for 30 years, and I’m quitting the party I love. Not because of the Mark Foley scandal or Middle East policy. But because the Republican Party wants to stop me from what I love to do: play poker over the Internet.”

Trivia answer

Baker owned the Anaheim Piranhas in 1996 and 1997. The Piranhas, who played their home games at the Pond, folded after the 1997 season, shortly after Baker’s workload came to include running the entire league.

And finally

Researchers in Japan say that a bottlenose dolphin captured last month has an extra set of fins that could be the remains of hind legs, evidence that sea-dwelling mammals might have once lived on land.

Usually displayed in a museum since its capture, the dolphin was recently flown to Chicago, where it rushed for 157 yards against the Bears on Sunday.

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