He’s not into you, he’s into his family

STAND-UP comic Greg Behrendt was a consultant on HBO’s “Sex and the City� and co-wrote the bestsellers “He’s Just Not That Into You� and “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.� So it’s only natural a syndicated daytime relationship program would be next. Enter “The Greg Behrendt Show,� premiering Sept. 12 locally on KTLA-TV, Channel 5.

Behrendt has his own relationship thing going in Studio City with wife Amiira and daughters True, 4, and Mighty, 1.

Date night

Ninety percent of the time, if I can be home in my pajamas at 6 p.m. on a Friday with some Village pizza and watching a movie with the wife and kids, I’m loving that. That’s our idea of a romantic, zesty weekend.

But if we’re going out, I’d hit Katsu-ya for dinner. It has the best sushi in the city, but it’s shockingly unpretentious. I’ll order the baked crab roll, I’m going to get involved in that, and also a big pile of tuna sashimi.

Then we’d go over the hill and see Jon Brion at Largo, and if things work out as they do in my dreams sometimes, Jon would ask me to rock the people with 5 or 10 minutes of stand-up. Then my lady and I would swing by Pinkberry in West Hollywood. She loves their frozen yogurt.

Into his gym clothes

I’m a workout nut, and so I don’t mind getting up at 7 on a Saturday and driving to the gym in Reseda. I use a combination of boxing, yoga and weight training. Then I’d swing by Western Bagel and bring something home for me and my lady.

Later, we’ll go shopping. I’ll go to Sy Devore for menswear and then pop over the hill to Truetone Music in Santa Monica, which is just a storefront but for my money is the best guitar store in all of L.A. I like to walk around and just smell the guitars, be among them.

We’d go to Hugo’s for lunch, which I love because you can see someone like Duff from Guns N’ Roses and Velvet Revolver there with his kids. I like the sausage scrambles. I’ll rock a high-protein situation any time of the day. Then we’ll go look at some art, maybe at Museum Works on Melrose. Or more clothes shopping at J. Lindeberg.

Next, I can only imagine a king-sized nap for everybody. In the evening, I’ll go old-school, buddy -- Dan Tana’s. Why not do some legendary Hollywood? Then we’ll go to the Troubadour, which sometimes is the last place you can see a great band before they get too big.

Family day

On Sunday we’ll go to Du-Par’s for breakfast or we’ll eat and walk around at the farmers market, where you end up running into 400 people that you know. We’ll grab a burrito, look at a candle and buy a bag of cashews.

Then we’ll take the kids to Storyopolis, which is like an alternative bookstore for the 1-to-13 set. We’d also go to Woodbridge Park near our house and then home, where maybe the kids will make cupcakes. Later, we’ll invite two or three couples over with their children and order in from Aroma Cafe. I’ll have the pear walnut salad and my wife will rock a veggie burger. Then, because I have a lot of friends who are musicians, we’ll have a hootenanny in the living room and try to get the girls to play along.