Even the Magic Kingdom Has Cellphone-Induced Gridlock

It’s enough to make a visitor to Disneyland wish for Yesterdayland.

Joe Soter of Tustin says that his son Joseph and a pal spent a day at the Magic Kingdom, and “when they got home, they complained about the lady on the Autopia ride who backed up traffic while talking on her cellphone the whole time!”

Guess she couldn’t simultaneously gab and press her foot on the accelerator.

Opined the elder Soter: “Too bad the ride’s cars don’t have horns!”

No age discrimination here! Pamela Mossman of Santa Monica spotted a job opening for the world’s youngest baby-sitter (see accompanying).

I beg your pardon: Otto Ross of Seal Beach was struck by the unsteady command of language in a medical clinic’s note (see accompanying).

A job that might make anyone dizzy: “The firm can’t afford another specialist?” Mark Meyerson asked of an ad featuring a worker who’s apparently sort of a lone wolf (see accompanying).

Who says the Lakers can’t make poetry? The website eaglesfans.typepad.com/eagles reports that when Joe Walsh played at a Providence, R.I., concert, he changed some of the lyrics in “Life’s Been Good” to:

I have a limo

Ride in the back

I watch the Lakers

They stink without Shaq.

Thirsting for travel tips: Carol Martinez of L.A.’s convention and visitors bureau says a letter arrived from Inger-Lise Iversen, a 13-year-old Norwegian girl, who posed this question about life in the City of Angels:

“Must everybody buy water? Or can you drink water from the tap?”

Inger-Lise, I think it’s only people on the Westside who believe the law says you must drink bottled water.

Memorable exit: The Beach Reporter said a burglar broke into several rooms of a Manhattan Beach motel, then was “chased down Sepulveda Boulevard by several guests.”

“Along the way, he dropped various items in the street. The burglar ran to a car driven by another male subject.

“He jumped on the hood, grabbing the driver’s side windshield wiper, and threw a taco at one of the victims as the car sped away.”

Wonder whether the last item was paid for or whether it was truly a hot taco?

miscelLAny: My kids agree with T.S. Eliot, who wrote: “April is the cruelest month.” After all, it’s a month without school holidays.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at [email protected].