Designed for Cosmonauts, Device Could Bring Relief to Commuters

Guys -- you’re trapped in a SigAlert when you suddenly feel the call of nature. What to do? Well, you’d have no problem if you owned one piece of equipment on sale Oct. 2-3 at the Space and Aviation Memorabilia Auction in Bell Canyon (near West Hills). It’s a “male cosmonaut restroom� (estimated value $500 to $700), which Aurora Galleries says is “complete with its hoses and valves� and in “very good condition� (see photo).

Just to be safe, I think I’d want to test it out somewhere other than a freeway -- a golf course, perhaps.

Unclear on the concept: Today’s collection of oddities (see accompanying) includes:

* A “no purchase necessary/see details inside� contest ad, spotted by Barry Stone. Nothing unusual there, except it’s on the wrapper of a candy bar.

* Some illogical microwave instructions (David Chan).

* And, a vendor who found the perfect place to vend (Rhonda Goodman).

The L.A. County seal scandal grows: Yes, the powers that be were so busy excising the religious cross, the oil derricks and the goddess Pomona from the design (see accompanying) that they overlooked two other symbols with shaky origins.

As I’ve pointed out, they retained Pearlette, a ‘50s-era cow that was based at Adohr Farms in Ventura County. L.A. County didn’t have any noteworthy bovines?

And reader Larry Steidle informs me that the fish in the design is an albacore, more prevalent in San Diego County waters than in L.A. County.

It lacks personality, too -- doesn’t even have a name. I say replace it with L.A.’s most famous sea creature -- Universal Studios’ Bruce of “Jaws� fame.

Seal (cont.): An anonymous poet sums up the county seal controversy this way:

Holy cross!

Holy cow!

Holy mackerel!

To live and drive in Southern California: I spotted a woman who was chattering on her cell phone at a red light when the signal changed.

She didn’t notice, however, and the guy behind her started honking. She transferred her phone to her right hand so she could use her left hand to give him the one-fingered salute out the window. Don’t tell her that the cell phone inhibits one’s driving style.

miscelLAny: As for the report here about the latex nose that washed up in Redondo Beach, Richard Ivler of Sierra Madre writes: “Of course, I would never ask if Michael Jackson had been visiting the beach recently ... “

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at [email protected].