Situation Still Looks a Little Rocky in Boulder

Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, taking a dim view of the celebrating going on at Colorado after Gary Barnett was reinstated as football coach:

“So everything is copacetic at CU, as long as you’re not one of the many women who claim to have been sexually assaulted by football players, and you’re not one of the many gridders whose official collegiate shaping/nurturing/educating process began with a stoned-out sex orgy....

“Instead of blame, what’s being handed out is kudos. One CU regent said that Barnett and top school officials ‘all deserve the opportunity to lead this university and right this ship.’

“Excuse me while I push my eyeballs back into their sockets.”

More Ostler: “If the CU regents ran Exxon, they would’ve had captain Joe Hazelwood back his tanker off the reef in 1989 in Prince Edward Sound and resume his cruise. ‘Take another shot at it, Captain! Anyone can make a mistake!’ ”

Trivia time: Who holds the record for most consecutive games scoring 30 points or more in the NBA playoffs?

Identity crisis: Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Smarty Jones has been dubbed the “Philly Flash” and “Philly Flyer,” but residents of Bensalem, Pa., point out that the horse is actually from their small township instead of nearby Philadelphia.

“We want our recognition,” Bensalem Mayor Joseph DiGirolamo told Associated Press.

“Philadelphia is starving for a winner. They can grasp at it, but they need to remember it’s Bensalem and not just Philly.”

Philadelphians, naturally, don’t see it that way.

“I think they should get a life. Who ever heard of Bensalem?” Harry Williford said from a bar. “They don’t even play good high school football there.”

Golden glove: Joe Phillips of Dallas, who publishes the “Glove Collector” newsletter, told the Seattle Times about a collector who tried on a glove purchased at a flea market and found that one of the finger holes was plugged.

He shook it, and bills started pouring out -- $3,000 in wadded-up hundreds. “Probably some guy put his stash in there,” Phillips said.

Curse continues: The Chicago Bulls are destined for more losing seasons after drawing the No. 3 pick in the upcoming NBA draft, and thus missing out on Connecticut’s Emeka Okafor, wrote Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times:

“When an organization is foolish enough to prematurely dismantle a dynasty and drive Michael Jordan away, it deserves to lose 341 games in six years and somehow have stinkingly little to show for its futility.”

Looking back: On this date in 1977, Dennis Eckersley of the Cleveland Indians pitched a no-hitter in a 1-0 victory over the Angels.

Trivia answer: Elgin Baylor of the Lakers scored 30 points or more in 11 consecutive playoff games in 1962.

And finally: Bud Geracie of the San Jose Mercury News, on San Francisco Giant reliever Matt Herges’ earned-run average reaching 7.11: “Which is where he’ll be working if this keeps up.”