When Jesus and Adam meet at the multiplex

Until last weekend, when “The Passion of the Christ” stormed the box office, the No. 1 movie in America was the Adam Sandler comedy “50 First Dates.”

Given the intense debate surrounding the release of the Mel Gibson film about the death of Christ, there was something oddly comforting in this. For I had been reading so much about the destructive potential of “The Passion” that I had forgotten it was a movie.

But then “The Passion” came out and it behaved just like a movie, with a big opening-weekend take that knocked “50 First Dates” out of the top spot. “The Passion” had grossed almost $126 million through last weekend, according to industry estimates, compared with $88.6 million for “50 First Dates,” which was No. 2 in its third week of release.

And yet, some Jewish leaders have been warning that Gibson’s depiction of the Jews as the bloodthirsty killers of Christ could foment vitriolic anti-Semitism. Possibly it could, but the perpetrators would be the same people who, just a weekend earlier, had paid 12 bucks to see a walrus projectile vomit and Drew Barrymore act. If I were recruiting an army of haters, these are not the people I would try to get.

But sometimes you simply have to go to the mall and see for yourself.

And so I did. First I went to the Grove at Farmers Market last Friday, to see “50 First Dates.” It’s a harmless comedy, playing on the hour and then some in every multiplex in America right now. Sandler plays a veterinarian and Barrymore an amnesiac. They meet cute, then she can’t remember anything the next day. “Imagine having to woo the girl of your dreams,” the movie poster says, “every ... day.” I impart this information because all of Adam Sandler’s comedies are helpfully and completely summarized on the poster.

“The Passion of the Christ” poster has no tagline. It’s Jesus, he’s bigger than a tagline. (Although, if the film hadn’t opened big, Newmarket Film Group would no doubt have altered the poster to read: “From the acclaimed director of ‘Braveheart’ comes a film about the acclaimed healer of people.”)

I went to see “The Passion” at the Block in Orange, which is a mall development off the 22 Freeway; you make a left into the development at the light on Shoppertainment. At the Block, they have an AMC 30, as in 30 screens.

Like “50 First Dates,” “The Passion” was playing on the hour and then some. I saw it in a theater called the Colossus, which is roughly the size of an airplane hanger. I was 10 minutes late for the movie and missed not only the previews but the opening sequence with Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Oh, well. I figured I knew what was going to happen, anyway. Having an easy-to-follow plot, I am sure, helps you to be No. 1 at the box office.

When I say that I grew sleepy watching “The Passion,” I mean no disrespect toward anyone -- Catholics, Jews, Christians, whomever. It’s more a comment on the film’s predictability, its archvillains (Christ’s persecutors) and hero (Christ). Great stories need to have more than stock characters and conflicts. Even the infamous violence in “The Passion” is slow. Christ is beaten, and beaten again. And again. And then some more. And then also he’s beaten. Then he has to walk up a very long hill with a cross on his shoulders. All while being beaten.

As a filmmaker, Gibson’s like Clint Eastwood; he’s most fascinated by man’s epic inhumanity to other men, and he tells this story like it’s a western, with archetypes and a methodical narrative. OK, but I also thought “Mystic River” dragged.

And yet, there’s an implicit tyranny going on with “The Passion of the Christ” where you’re not supposed to say that it’s boring, or that the beating scenes grew monotonous, or even that it’s good. The reviews I’ve read have all conveyed, subtly or otherwise, the kid gloves with which the film, given its subject matter, must be treated.

Well, look: I don’t know about you, but I paid $7.50 (bargain matinee) for a ticket, and saw the thing unfold on a humongous screen in a humongous movie house in a humongous development that features an Old Navy and a Borders Books and an Athlete’s Foot. All of the evidence suggests, in other words, that “The Passion” ... is a movie playing at a mall.

Tomorrow, “Starsky & Hutch,” starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, arrives at the multiplex, so we’ll see if “The Passion” can hold its own.

I fear, however, for “50 First Dates,” which will probably sink even lower in the rankings. Until then, here’s what we know: In the race between Adam and Jesus, Christ got to $100 million first.

Paul Brownfield can be reached at [email protected].