The Games People Play Are Now Under Protest

ATHENS —  And the cry has gone up in the homeland of Apollo: Ohno, here we go again!

It’s too hot to sustain any form of ice larger than the tiny cubes floating in a fan’s life-saving paper cup of soda, but all of South Korea has short-track speedskating on its mind as it stares cross-eyed at this Gymgate controversy and sees, once more, the specter of Apollo Anton Ohno, taking away from Korea and giving to the United States.

Two years ago in Salt Lake City, Ohno was clerically awarded a gold medal in the men’s 1,500-meter race when the skater who finished first on the ice, Korea’s Kim Dong-sung, was disqualified.

Athens is a long way from Utah, except in the minds of angry Koreans, who believe it’s right around the corner. In their view, it is happening again: Korean athlete rightly wins the Olympic gold medal, then loses it to the American because of a suspect judging decision.

This time, the victim is Yang Tae Young; the beneficiary Paul Hamm.

The scene: Wednesday’s men’s gymnastics all-around competition.

The controversy: Hamm edges Yang in the closest finish in Olympic history despite crashing into the judge’s table with his vault landing. Korean officials believe Hamm’s vault score of 9.137 was too high for such a blatant mistake. Then they learn Yang’s start value for his parallel bars routine was under-scored by 0.1 -- enough of a margin to win Yang the gold medal had his exercise been correctly graded 10.0 in degree of difficulty instead of 9.9

The fallout: Korea files a protest. The governing body of international gymnastics, also known as FIG, reviews the case and decides that Yang was indeed slighted, that his start value deserved a 10.0 grade.

The solution?

FIG decides to suspend the three judges on the parallel bars panel but allows Hamm to keep the gold medal.

Koreans don’t give a FIG for this resolution. They want restitution. They want Hamm to give up his gold medal.

Failing that, they want the International Olympic Committee to award a second gold medal -- and they have American gymnastics officials, who desperately want Hamm to keep his medal, on board with the idea.

The precedent: Do the names Sale and Pelletier ring a bell?

How about Pandora?

It all comes home here, where the ancient Greeks had a myth that Pandora, the first woman on earth, was given a box by Zeus with simple instructions: Do not open until the end of time. Pandora, an early role model for the IOC, couldn’t help herself and opened the box, thus unleashing all the evils that have since afflicted mankind.

Pandora’s box was opened again in Salt Lake City, where in order to quell a short-term problem -- a judging scandal that helped deprive the Canadian figure skating pair of Jamie Sale and David Pelletier the gold medal -- the IOC opted to award a second set of gold medals: one pair for the Russians, one pair for the Canadians -- forget the long-term consequences. Well, the long term has come knocking on the door, barely two years later.

The IOC gave Korea a precedent to cite, and it is prepared to fight. And with the U.S. prepared to offer its support, is that Jacques Rogge we hear rummaging through his suitcase, scrounging for a spare gold medal?

One hundred and eight years after Athens rolled out the Modern Olympics, it bears awkward witness to the birth of the Post-Modern Olympics, where it’s no longer over when the fat lady sings; she has to wait until the fat lawyer files his written appeal with the international federation.

Aaron Peirsol may or may not be the 2004 Olympic men’s 200-meter backstroke champion, pending a potential appeal by Britain to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

Germany was champion of the Olympic team equestrian event, until the Court of Arbitration for Sport took it away after upholding a joint protest filed by France, Britain and the U.S., which all stood to gain if the Germans were sanctioned.

And gain they did. New team equestrian medalists: Gold for France, silver for Britain, bronze for the U.S., nothing for Germany.

Through the first week of the Olympics, protests have been filed in more than a half-dozen sports. We have had Swimgate, Gymgate, Sailgate, Horses-out-of-the-gate. Where is it going to end?

Not here, not in Turin ‘06, not in Beijing ’08. In the new Olympic order, the five rings will signify the jewelry on the hand of the attorney holding freshly written appeal papers. Each successful protest spawns another. Olympic athletes who’d rather not wait four years for a second chance now have another option:

If you can’t beat ‘em, adjudicate ‘em.

Unless the mood shifts to taking an even easier way out -- always a possibility -- and the Olympics get called off altogether.

That would save a lot of hassle and a lot of money. Just tell 200 countries to keep their athletes at home, we’ll mint a bunch of extra medals and send them off in the mail.

Gold medals for everyone! Everybody’s happy.