Don’t Stick Your Head in the Sand

A ll markets carry eggs labeled “jumbo” and “extra-large,” but Ostrich Land puts those little huevos to shame. Just north of Santa Barbara near Solvang, the 33-acre ranch breeds the world’s largest birds, and offers their “Flintstones”-sized eggs to the public.

Each egg weighs 3 to 4 pounds, and requires a hammer and screwdriver to crack its thick shell. At $20 a pop, they’re not cheap, but one egg makes omelets for 10 and adds flair to any brunch.

The taste? Just like chicken eggs.

The ranch’s 45 ostriches roam in a vast, desert-like pen that approximates their natural African habitat. Take a gander, and you might spy the odd birds nesting or mating--one of the goofiest, most awkward courtship rituals on the planet. Or you might catch them stretching their knobby legs at upward of 40 mph.

Don’t expect to hop on. Territorial creatures, ostriches bite and charge, and can disembowel a man with one kick, making petting, feeding and riding off limits to guests.

Says owner Knut Siegfried: “The birds don’t even want to be touched. They’re happy out there, they do their own thing.”

As consolation, visitors can pay 25 cents to feed a corral of emus, the ostrich’s slightly smaller, less feisty cousin. Also for sale: crafts made from ostrich leather, feathers and shells, and frozen ostrich meat ... a lean alternative for those summer barbecues.

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strich Land, 610 E. Highway 246, Buellton exit off the 101, (805) 686-9696.