LAUGH LINES

Give It Up: “In a recent interview, Steven Spielberg says he believes Americans would be willing to give up some of their rights if it means the government can do a better job of defending the country....

“As a result, the White House asked Spielberg to give up his right to make ‘Jurassic Park 4.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

Fingering Fitness: “According to a new study, 50% of Americans are not getting enough exercise.... You know, we hear this all the time. You want Americans to exercise more? ... Make the remote heavier. That’s the only way.” (Jay Leno)

Real TV: “On ‘Fear Factor,’ contestants are serious. They eat rats and turn on each other ....

“By the end of the show, the last one left is fully qualified to run for public office.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.