A Home for the Holiday

With their young children in Mexico, Christmas hasn’t been the same for Irma Santiago and Cristobal Juarez.

For two years now, the Thousand Oaks couple have celebrated Christmas, the most family-oriented of holidays, without much of their family. They had planned on a quiet evening at home, because it just wouldn’t have felt right to have a loud, festive celebration without their children.

But then a friend told them about the annual Conejo Community Holiday Dinner at Thousand Oaks High School, and the housekeeper and gardener decided to give it a try.

“We’re always very sad this time of year not to be with our family,” said Santiago, 42, who left Mexico to earn money to send to her children back home. “But these people were very good to us.”

Santiago was talking about the more than 100 volunteers who put the event together.

On Wednesday, the more than 300 people who showed up for the free dinner were treated like special guests at a cozy restaurant. The school cafeteria had been transformed into a Christmas eatery, with multicolored stars hanging from the ceiling, handmade laminated place mats and red tablecloths setting a festive scene.

Once they got their turkey, mashed potatoes, vegetables, stuffing, cranberry sauce and desserts, diners were helped to their tables by volunteers such as Marissa Matthew, 17, who attends Agoura High School.

Marissa and the other local teenagers on hand Wednesday had very specific instructions. They were to greet and mingle with guests. Great care and attention was to be taken to ensure that no one was eating alone. Diners should be helped to their tables when necessary. The guests should be periodically asked if they needed anything.

“It’s a social thing,” said Marissa, who has volunteered at the Christmas dinner since eighth grade and this year was in charge of finding high school volunteers. “You see people here who were here the year before, and it’s nice that they’ve come back and we get to talk again.”

Visiting from Humboldt County, Richard Fichera, 64, whose shirt proclaimed “Will dance for food!,” and Jennifer Tom of Ventura, sporting a Santa hat, were in the Christmas spirit. The friends and avid swing-dancers had heard about the dinner at a local dance class. They were grabbing a bite before heading to Santa Barbara for dancing.

“We thought it’d be a fun way to spend Christmas,” Tom said. “It brings those of us who can’t enjoy our families and loved ones together.”

The Christmas celebration began in 1994 when Donn Delson, a member of Temple Adat Elohim in Thousand Oaks, thought it would be good if he and his Jewish friends could provide a free dinner for area Christians with no place to go on Christmas. Nine years and thousands of warm plates later, the idea has spurred a new Christmas tradition among many in Ventura County. The food is mostly donated, and the high school donates use of its space.

Tony Romano, 78, a retiree from Westlake Village, says he drops by every year.

It’s nice, he said, to share a good meal with good people.

“You got any vodka?” asked the silver-haired jokester when a volunteer brought him some water.

“I don’t think I’m allowed to serve that,” the teenager responded politely.

Romano said the food is great, although he avoids the mashed potatoes and stuffing.

“That stuff is all fattening,” Romano said.

Romano, who worked for General Motors for as long as he was married -- 24 years -- said he has no family in the area. His only son is in Chicago with Romano’s ex-wife, and he doesn’t hear from them much. He comes to the dinner for the food and to meet new lady friends.

“Being single out here is pretty rough,” he said. “If you find any rich widows, let me know.”

The temple doesn’t target any particular group for the dinner, but the event generally draws senior citizens from throughout the county. Local cab and bus services offer free rides to and from the dinner.

A smattering of singles and families also attends.

For the Alcaraz family of Oxnard, this was not the way they’d envisioned spending Christmas. It’s the first time the family has been to “one of these types of events,” said Alejandro Alcaraz, a local farm worker.

It’s been a rough year for the family of five and they can’t afford the typical Christmas feast and presents. But they’re grateful for the meal and for the gifts that 10-year-old Maria and 12-year-old Alejandra received.

“I’m really surprised by how wonderful everyone’s been to us,” Alejandro said. “They don’t care who we are. We’re all just together as a family and as brothers.”