LAUGH LINES
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Cut the Chit-Chat: “Sally Jesse Raphael announced that after 20 years, her show has been canceled.
“Executives decided to cancel the show right after hearing it was still on.” (Conan O’Brien)
Screening Process: “In Florida, at Orlando International Airport, they’re testing these new X-ray machines that can completely see through the passengers’ clothes.... When you go through the X-ray machines, you appear on the screen completely naked.
“Finally, a way to keep the guards awake.” (Jay Leno)
Up, Up and Away: “Baseball salaries are rising as fast as ticket prices.
“The good news is: Ticket prices are not rising as fast as players’ salaries.
“The bad news is: It now takes a player’s salary to fill up your gas tank.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)
It Pays to Talk: “Newsweek magazine estimates that former President Clinton makes between $10 million to $15 million a year in speaking engagements.
“That explains why Hilary doesn’t speak to him. She can’t afford it.” (Leno)
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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012.
