Call It the Midslumber Classic

Who won last year’s baseball All-Star game?

Thought so.

Where was last year’s baseball All-Star game played?

Figures.

Since interleague play dropped from the sky upon baseball’s summer picnic five years ago, the All-Star game has become as memorable as a Tuesday night rerun.

Forget Bonds and Boone, A-Rod and I-Rod, Gonzalez and Gonzalez.

Give me Dharma & Greg.

The All-Star game has become a mainland Pro Bowl.

Spring training without the sunscreen.

The Midsummer Jurassic.

It is a dinosaur, as outdated as three days’ rest and as irrelevant as a Devil Ray.

No offense to the good people of Seattle, who have certainly earned the right to enjoy tonight’s game at Safeco Field, especially since their Mariners are headed directly for a postseason nose-ringing by the New York Yankees.

But, really, why watch?

The mystery of the National League against the American League is gone, having disappeared with the advent of interleague play.

I remember when I couldn’t wait to see Pete Rose bat against Mark Fidrych, Joe Morgan against Jim Palmer, Steve Garvey against Gaylord Perry.

Tonight, not only will you be seeing players who already have faced each other this year, you will be watching some who faced each other last weekend.

Can’t wait to see the National League’s leading winner face last year’s American League MVP?

Um, Arizona’s Curt Schilling pitched to Oakland’s Jason Giambi on Sunday night, striking him out twice.

Wringing your hands in anticipation of renewed tensions between the all-star members of the Yankees and Mets?

Er, they already have met six times this season.

The thrill of seeing unknown guys from small-market teams enjoying shining moments also is gone. Because of cable television, nobody is unknown. And because of absurd contract clauses, the only things shining are the coins.

Before getting chills over watching Pittsburgh’s Brian Giles take his humble place along the baseline tonight, remember that by making the All-Star team twice in the last two years, he qualified for a bonus of $1 million.

There is no more league pride, no more summer charm, nothing but our favorite millionaires stepping carefully around each other for three hours on national television. That is, the ones who decided it was worth appearing.

Greg Maddux, the National League earned-run average leader, chose to stay home so teammate John Burkett could go instead. In appreciation of that kind gesture, a nation embraces Maddux and says . . . John Burkett?

Oh, wait, that’s right, there also is a home run contest. The excitement of watching bored sluggers swat at slow pitches from nervous coaches is something that should not be missed.

And who knows, maybe one of the players will show the nation a little bit of his personality by--drum roll please--wearing his cap backward!

The only thing I remember from any of the four All-Star games since the start of interleague play didn’t even happen during a game.

It was two years ago, in Boston, when Ted Williams was driven to the middle of the diamond to be embraced by the stars.

This year in Seattle, rumor has it that they’re going to surprise everyone with Bruce Bochte.

On the list of can’t-miss sports events, the All-Star game has dropped out of the top 10, below baseball’s opening day, the first round of the NBA playoffs and every single week in the NFL.

And to think, this once was the second-most important sports event of the year, overshadowed only by the World Series.

As kids, we spent hours under the park bleachers picking the teams, then rushed to the newspapers to see if the managers agreed. We devised batting orders. We argued over starting pitchers.

On that wondrous Tuesday night in July, we gathered around the TV early, at least 30 minutes before the game, even if it meant--ugh--watching the evening news. This is because we could never, ever miss the one sports moment that defined our dreams:

The All-Star game introductions.

Nothing was cooler than watching our heroes trot to the baseline and suddenly become real, players we had seen only on baseball cards, legends we had only read about in newspapers.

Would the fans boo Reggie Jackson? (Always.) Would the hometown player get teary at his standing ovation? (Always.)

I remember Rose and Ray Fosse, Reggie and the Tiger Stadium roof, Dave Parker’s arm, Fred Lynn’s slam, Bo Jackson’s blast, Mike Piazza’s 1996 Philly homecoming.

And barely a thing since.

Like that beat-up car with a working engine and good memories, the All-Star game is worth saving. But it has to be fixed.

Since the actual game can’t change, the teams must.

Forget the National and American leagues. Make it the States against the World. Celebrate baseball’s unique diversity--heck, they even passed out ballots in Japan this year--by showcasing it.

Pit the players from the 50 states against those from Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, Japan, Canada, wherever else stars are being born.

Suddenly, there is more at stake than a paycheck.

The nation where baseball was born would have to show it still can play the game better than all others. The rest of the world can show that things have truly changed.

While many of these same players have faced each other earlier in year, the setting and stakes would be different. Roger Clemens against Manny Ramirez would be more fun. Fans would get more involved. It would not be divisive, but inclusive.

Hockey has taken a similar tack by pitting North America against the world--not that it completely works, but at least the league is trying.

Unlike baseball, which will trot out the same nonsense tonight as it did last year in . . .

Atlanta. Where the American League won, 6-3.

I looked it up, then hurriedly typed it in before I forgot.

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at [email protected].

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

A New Look

All-star rosters for the 50 states vs. the World (using only players who are eligible to play in Seattle tonight):

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50 STATES POSITION WORLD Mike Piazza Catcher Ivan Rodriguez Todd Helton First Baseman Carlos Delgado Bret Boone Second Baseman Roberto Alomar Alex Rodriguez Shortstop Cristian Guzman Chipper Jones Third Baseman Albert Pujols Barry Bonds Outfielder Manny Ramirez Luis Gonzalez Outfielder Juan Gonzalez Lance Berkman Outfielder Ichiro Suzuki Cliff Floyd Designated Hitter Sammy Sosa Curt Schilling Starting Pitcher Chan Ho Park Roger Clemens Starting Pitcher Freddy Garcia Troy Percival Closer Kazuhiro Sasaki Joe Torre Manager Tony Perez

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