Teen Queen Waves a Pen to Become a Literary Lady

Oops, they did it again. Mega-pop sprite Britney Spears and her mega-mama, Lynne, are following up on the success of last year’s autobiography, “Britney Spears’ Heart to Heart,� with, like, a novel.

The novel, to be published April 10, is called “A Mother’s Gift� and concerns a teenage girl who wants to be a star. Reportedly, Random House paid the duo $1 million for a two-book deal that will also include a Christmas-themed book.

The line between Britney the human and Britney the merchandise grows fuzzier by the day, as she and handlers have parlayed superstardom into a multimillion-dollar enterprise with a growing list of products.

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It wasn’t just a straight shot from performer to literary light. In between, she’s been made into a “You Make Me Happy� doll, a cell phone cover and a mouse pad. After that, one would think writing a novel would be a piece of cake. Yet think how hard it must be to squeeze a writing career in between rehearsing for the Super Bowl halftime show, emceeing the American Music Awards and preparing for a leading role in a feature film.

She’s such a busy little multi-tasker, it’s amazing that the globe-trotting Pepsi-promoter has any time to reflect on art and ideas. Perhaps Spears, who left high school her freshman year, dictated her part of “A Mother’s Gift� to her mother, a former schoolteacher. Then Mom made the necessary modifications, such as plot twists and complete sentences.

Possibly, they edit each other. Britney, 19, did say on her official Web site: “Back home, folks always joke that my mama and I can complete each other’s sentences.� Home, in case you live under a rock, is a little town called Kentwood in Louisiana.

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The 240-page book is aimed at all ages, according to Random House. It’s about a talented girl named Holly Faye Lovell who leaves her tiny Mississippi town for a posh music school. She also leaves her mama, Wanda. According to a synopsis on Amazon.com: “Although they don’t have much in the way of money, there’s always been plenty of love . . . and there’s always been Wanda’s birthmark, an ugly red scar on the side of her face that makes people who don’t know her turn away.�

Holly Faye must wrestle with embarrassment for her mother, and Wanda must wrestle with a festering secret. Kind of a Southern gothic for kids. Perhaps “A Mother’s Gift� will spawn a bestseller list unto itself, one that specializes in midriff-list books.

The good news, according to Amazon’s promotional spiel, is: “This is Britney and Lynne’s first--but definitely not their last--work of fiction together.�

Imagine “A Mother’s Gift� as just the first in a series, sort of like the “Babysitters’ Club� or even Harry Potter. One book can focus on the day Holly Faye gets her first crop top. Another can be about the time she misguidedly allowed a Backstreet Boy to pierce her bellybutton.

Don’t worry though, every book will have a very happy ending, at least for Ms. $pears.