LAUGH LINES

What a Trip: “President Clinton is going to Vietnam. . . . Some Vietnamese officials are hoping he will apologize for the Vietnam War. Apologize? . . . He wasn’t even there!� (Jay Leno)

Going Crazy: “The man on trial for the stabbing of former Beatle George Harrison has been found not guilty by reason of insanity. . . . They knew he was insane about halfway through the trial when he admitted he once bought a Yoko Ono album.� (Mark Wheeler)

Sending Him Off: “Defenders of Wildlife, an environmental group, wants the government to return the gray wolf back to the southern Rockies. . . . This program is very controversial. . . . Most people think he should move to New York with his wife.� (Argus Hamilton)

Sitting Down on the Job: “It was in 1933 that the first recorded sit-down strike occurred in the United States by workers at a Hormel meat-packing plant in Austin, Minn. . . . In fact, that’s how Spam was invented. . . . The workers sat down on some ham . . . and after a couple of weeks--Spam!� (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.