LAUGH LINES

Going, Going, Gone: “Detroit Lions coach Bobby Ross up and quit after a tough loss to the Miami Dolphins. . . . He can’t do that. If a coach could quit after each tough loss . . . the San Diego Chargers’ front office would have to install a revolving door.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Femmes Fatales: The movie “ ‘Charlie’s Angels’ . . . features strong women and no guns. There are no guns. . . . Strong women--no guns. . . . It sounds like the Republicans’ worst nightmare.” (Jay Leno)

A Really Good Scare: “The setting for ‘Survivor II’ is reportedly haunted. The locals say a thousand Australian aborigines were once slaughtered by Europeans in the Herbert River Gorge . . . and their cries can still be heard. It can’t be scarier than the image of . . . Richard [Hatch, winner of the first ‘Survivor’] naked.” (Daily Scoop)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.