And We Thought Surfers Worried Only About the Size of Waves

For your “Bummer!� file: A letter to San Juan Capistrano-based Surfer magazine from Northern California lamented, “I, like all other male surfers, suffer from . . . shrinkage. . . . Are there any serious or permanent health risks that could occur?�

Dr. Paul Turek, a urology professor at UC San Francisco (and a surfer) responded: “There is no evidence that cold water adversely affects reproductive organs in any way.�

Turek added: “I’ve never prescribed Viagra to a surfer.�

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MYSTERY OF THE AGES: Rock Johnson of Palm Springs saw a classified ad that would appeal to every soldier who has ever tried to figure out the military (see accompanying).

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GOOFY NAMES: Surely you’ve heard of the Southland company that cleans air systems . . . Mighty Ducts.

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HOT TUNES: After reading how electricians could earn a bonus from one company (see accompanying), Richard Caston of Desert Hot Springs cracked, “I guess the company’s looking for some live wires.�

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DRIVE-BY READING: Some personalized plates featured on the knx1070.com Web site of the radio station:

UNDERDC (Michelle North, Arlington, Va.): “My plate has a double meaning. I live in northern Virginia, which is just south of Washington, D.C., and I worked for the Walt Disney Company and loved ‘The Little Mermaid,’ which was ‘under d sea.’ �

SEADUCE (Angela Svoboda, Shorewood, Minn.): “My passion in life is riding the Seadoo personal watercraft. And I have two of them, i.e., deuce.�

FRE2D8 (Julie Cordaro, Vista): I am single and will go out on dates.�

ASK4AD8 (Mitch Gordon, Calabasas): “Meaning ‘Ask for a Date.’ I’m single and living in L.A. it’s hard to meet people, so I decided to advertise.�

ASK4AD8, keep an eye out for FRE2D8 on the freeway.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at [email protected]