Shifting Roles Call for Redefined Terms

While writing “And What Do You Do? When Women Choose to Stay at Home,� Mary Quigley and Loretta Kaufman compiled a list of phrases that may help professional women who opt to stay home with children gain a new way of thinking about the issue:

Partnering: Each spouse plays a role in making family life work. The husband may act as primary breadwinner and the wife, armed with previous professional experience, often controls family finances, including investment decisions, refinancing mortgages, buying and selling houses and overseeing major renovations.

Back-burnering: What the authors call the “new traditional wife� doesn’t turn her back on her career. Instead, she finds ways to keep it simmering. She may work part time to “keep a hand in,� or leave the work force and return years later with renewed energy and creativity.

Re-tooling: Because the new traditional wife has considerable work and world experience, she doesn’t “hang it up� when she is no longer on the 7:03 train to the city. Instead, she uses her talents in creative new ways, adapting her training and expertise to benefit her community and nonprofit organizations.

Taking turns: Most new traditional wives make the decision to change their lives with an understanding that at some point, their own careers will get priority. Many women see this hiatus as a time to explore new avenues for other types of work.

Gift-giving: Many women take great satisfaction in caring for others and relish giving the gift of their talents and time to their families.